Gym Class Sorrow [Book 2]

Can Anybody Help With These Exit Wounds

Marks of battle, they still feel raw
A million pieces of me, on the floor
I'm damaged goods, for all to see
Now who would ever want to be with me?
I've got all the baggage, drink the pills
Yeah, this is living but without the will
I'm backing out, I'm shutting down
You left a hole when you walked out
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Chris's P.O.V.

I don't think I'll ever know what really possessed me to go to Richard and Karim's house. For all I know I may have just ruined a marriage.

Karma instantly took revenge on me through engine failure. My car broke down a few miles from their house and my phone is dead. I could always go back and ask for help, but what kind of asshole would I be if I did that.

I looked up at the stars in the sky as I walked home, wondering if there was ever a way I would feel whole again. Wondering if there was ever a way Richard and Karim would forgive me, forgive themselves and each other, for everything that had been done. Wondering if Jesse was up there watching me, if he had saw what I had done.

Now that I was halfway home, it really was dawning on me that I had fucked up pretty bad this time. I had probably just lost the only friends I still had the only ones I hadn't chased away.

I was a little over a half an hour from home when I decided to cut through the sleazy part of town to shave half my time off of the walk.

This part of town is where all of the drug dealers, prostitutes, and gangs hang out. It's not really safe to walk through at night but its the only way I'm going to make it home in time to get enough sleep for tomorrow.

I cut across a grassy area where an old movie theatre used to stand before it was condemned and torn down. The ground was now littered with nothing but trash and used hypodermic needles, prostitutes worked the corner ahead.

Several junkies were passed out on flattened cardboard boxes and soiled blankets, some still had the needles in their arms or pipes in their hands.

"Hey buddy!" a guy in clothes that looked like soiled rags yelled at me.

I looked around but saw no one he could be talking to but me. I didn't want a confrontation with any of these men so I pretended not to hear him and changed directions. I thought he gave up on whatever he was trying to say but I was wrong. As I walked under a deserted overpass with little light, I heard footsteps behind me.

I starts to walk faster, hoping to out run who ever was following. However, as so as I reached the middle of the overpass, the man following me grabbed my arm and whipped me around.

"Where do you think you're going? you look like you've got some cash on you!" he yelled out pulling out a gun. The man was obviously high.

"Look, I'll give you my wallet just put that away." I put one of my hands up, the other reaching for my wallet. His eyes filled with glee as he anticipated my next action, his hand that held the gun slipping ever so slightly. I took my chance and lunged for the gun.

"No!" he shrieked. The gun discharged.
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Oh god, there was blood everywhere. So much blood. The pain in my chest was unbearable, I could see little lights dancing across my vision. They teased me with memories of my life. There was my mom bandaging my leg when I scraped it up playing at the playground, my first kiss, my relationship with Richard, and Jesse's passing.

I could feel the cool puddle of blood pooling under my body. I'm probably going to die here. Some part of me is okay with that. Some part of me isn't. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll go where Jesse went. Yeah, that's all I want. To be with him. I don't even care if I die right here, cold and alone in my own blood.

After a few minutes it becomes apparent that that guy didn't even have the decency to call me an ambulance. He just wanted his next high.

My eyes closed shut as I choked on my blood.

As I laid there the weight of Jesse's letter in my coat pocket, reminded me of the scene that ha taken place not even an hour ago at Richard's house.
I'm sorry, old friend. I'm sorry for doing that to you in front of your husband. Maybe I deserve this.

Darkness was dancing across my vision. Right before I passed out from blood loss and shock, a familiar face was staring down at me. His phone was pressed to his ear and he was sealing frantically to someone on the other end.

"Chris, stay with-" the man started, but I couldn't hear.

The darkness never felt sweeter.

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Yay no more AP so should be back to regular uploads?

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