ALL I WANT [S.M]

07. Advantages

The first thing I thought of when my alarm went off was what Shawn had sent the last night: "It's nice to know that someone cares." The words echoed in my head like a catchy melody, repeating over and over. More sympathy and guilt bubbled up in the pit of my stomach.

I was able to shake it off just for a little bit to throw on some day clothes. I straightened my disheveled hair and brushed on a little bit of mascara to give my eyes some vividness, and I decided I was going to sit down for breakfast for once instead of just grabbing something and leaving like usual.

I poured myself a bowl of cereal, being the first one to eat. I sat at the dining table by myself, my elbows leaned on the table as I shoveled cereal down my throat, not in any rush. I was hardly awake, and I couldn't quite feel my hands, but I managed to eat.

Quentin busted out of his room and joined me at breakfast, making himself some toast and chomping on a handful of ripe green grapes.

He was dressed in jeans and a shirt that had a design of some video game that I'd never heard of. Quentin was really addicted to video games and that worried me because he was only twelve years old. I wondered: What would happen in the future if he's still addicted to video games and blows off homework or maybe even work for it? I hope he gets out of his video game phase.

From down the hall I heard Leo yell, "Mo-" and then some strange noises. I hopped up from the table, rushing to the bathroom where Leo was leaned over the toilet, vomit dripping from his lips. "Go get mom." he said sternly without looking up. I knocked on my parent's bedroom door, and my mom opened the door still in her pajamas.

"Yes, honey?" she said in a sweet tone, her eyes tired with bags sagging beneath them.

"Leo just threw up," I breathed, and she squinted at me, processing what I had just said.

"What?" she squeaked, and I nodded, assuring her.

She sighed, turning around and into her bedroom. I went back into the kitchen, emptied and rinsed out my bowl of cereal since I was too disgusted from seeing Leo's throw up, and then put it away into the dishwasher.

My mom came out with her thermometer and baby wipes in hand, tiredly dragging herself into the bathroom where Leo was. She cleaned him up and eventually moved into his bedroom instead of the nasty bathroom floor.

I stood in the doorway of his bedroom, my arms crossed. My mom was sitting on the edge of his bed, feeling Leo's forehead with the back of her hand as he laid back, his head rested on a pillow and his eyes barely open.

"So, I know this is the last thing on your mind right now, but I have to get to school, and Leo's kinda my ride." I stated.

My mom puffed her cheeks out and slowly blew air out of her pursed lips. "Leo is running a fever. He can't take you to school today, I'll drive you."

"And how am I getting home?" I questioned with an attitude.

She shook her head, looking at me."I can't pick you up, I'll be at a job interview. Your dad will be working late today... um, you'll just have to walk, unless there's a change of plans, but for now you have to walk."

My jaw dropped. "Seriously?" I snapped. She shrugged and I rolled my eyes, storming out of the room.

I grabbed my bag and sat annoyed in her car with my arms crossed. It took her a little while but she finally came into the car without saying anything and we drove to my school.

+ + +

First period was a breeze, and second period wasn't that eventful. Shawn came to class, we talked a little bit, me not bringing up our small text conversation from the previous night.

He seemed a lot better than the day before that, and that made me happy. It really crushed me to see him upset. We couldn't really talk long before we had to work quietly, but at lunch he sat with me and Leah.

"Wait, you're fifteen?" Leah laughed.

"Yea, what's wrong with that?" I replied.

Shawn interjected through a mouthful,"Leah, you just turned sixteen like two weeks ago, you have no room to judge!" and we all laughed.

Leah motioned her hands outward."I'm not saying that she's, like, a baby or anything, I'm just saying that she looks older."

"When's your birthday?" Shawn asked.

I swallowed a sip of my drink,"June fourth. You don't have to remember that, though. Most people forget it, anyway." I said, shrugging.

"Of course I have to remember it!" Shawn said, his voice inflection going up.

"You don't have to, really it's fine. It's stupid."

He cocked his head sideways, smirking. "I'm gonna remember your birthday. It's not your choice if I remember it or not, and I will. June fourth."

I threw my hands up. "Okay, okay! Whatever!" I chuckled.

Shawn smiled and bit into his sandwich.

"So I didn't know you and Leah were friends." I said.

Shawn nodded, and Leah spoke,"We're not that close, but we're... acquainted."

"Yea," Shawn agreed.

Lunch went on with loud conversations, and Shawn seemed happy. He had his moments when he looked like he was overthinking, but Leah and I took his mind off of whatever was wrong.

+ + +

I sighed, standing in front of the school alone. I didn't want to walk home, and I hadn't heard anything from my mom that said I didn't have to, so I chose to procrastinate instead. Maybe I could get a ride from someone. I couldn't wait until I got my drivers license, if I ever found the time.

"Hey, Murray." I heard Shawn's voice say, I turned and he was walking in my direction.

"Sup, Mendes." I nodded as he came up to me.

He smiled, looking around. "Where's your brother?"

I rolled my eyes and ran my fingers through my silky hair. "Can't pick me up. He's sick, so I'm stuck walking." And then an idea popped into my head. "Unless... you could maybe give me a ride?"

"Sure. I'm not doing anything so, yea. You know how to get there?" he replied. I rejoiced in my head: yay, I don't have to walk home, and I get a ride from him.

"I could figure it out." I said blankly, and then we began walking to his car. I climbed into the passenger seat, looking at the interior of his vehicle. There was nothing in it, really. Just some dust, gum wrappers, and a pen lying around the cupholders.

He got in, and then we were driving, in silence. I thought, this is the perfect moment for me to ask him why he was upset yesterday.

"So, Shawn." I began awkwardly, hesitating. "Yesterday when you came to Mrs. Parker's class, were you crying?"

He was looking straight at the road, his smile had changed to a straight line. He licked his lips.

"Yea, I was." he replied quietly after a little a while.

"Why?"

Shawn turned in a wrong direction, pulling into a gas station's parking lot. He parked his car, our view being an empty playground across the street.

He rested his arm on the door, taking a handful of his hair. I admired him as he stared out he window, contemplating to tell me the mystery that he'd neglected to tell me before.

Tears filled his eyes, and he opened his mouth to speak.

- - -
(A/N) 5/15/15

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-sophia ☽