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today i went on a field trip
to where we were supposed to
meet today.
tears swelled up as i entered the room.
i split up from my group to find
where we planned to always meet.
gate A of the stadium.
i climbed the gate separating the city from the field.
looking down at the point from where i would be running up to you and wrapping my legs around your torso as you said you wanted me to do,
and you grabbing my cheeks to pull me in for the kiss you made me promise to give you.
i imagined it all by hallucinating.
i imagined me squealing with delight because you were right in front of me.
i imagined the scent of you filling my lungs like oxygen.
you saying "i love you" over and over into my ear.
and then me saying it back.
I imagined you intertwining our hands as we smiled at each other.

but now,
instead of squealing with happiness, im screaming in sadness.
instead of the smell of you, i breathed in the polluted air of the city.
instead of you saying "i love you", you say nothing.
instead of me saying it back, i whisper to nobody "i still love him."
instead of our hands and hearts intertwined, you're with another girl doing the same thing.

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