chapter 4

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MEREDITH

I get a call from Amelia. I'm outside of Derek's room as he's asleep. "hello?" I answer as I put the phone to my ear.

"I'm on the first flight to D.C," she says. "you're already on the flight?" I ask. "yes, you called me at the perfect time," she says.

"are you taking Scout with you?" I ask. "No, I'm leaving him with Kai," she says. "I thought Kai doesn't like kids," I say.

"they like kids, they just don't want any of their own," she says. "Oh, so they're okay with watching scout for over five hours?" I ask.

"I guess so, they seemed a bit hesitate but they said yes eventually, if we're going to have a relationship they have to like Scout," she says.

"right," I say.

"like Nick likes your kids?" she says. "we're going to talk about that now?" I ask.

"yes. what are you going to do? you have a boyfriend in Seattle and a husband in Washington D.C. what are you going to do?" she asks. "who are you picking?"

"Derek, of course, I'm picking Derek," I say.

"good, because I don't think I can talk to you after that," she says. "you already knew the answer," I say.

"how many people have you slept with since you thought I died?" he asks. "Derek, are you sure you want to know that?" I ask.

"yes, if we're going to be married and figure things out I need to know," he says. "I-... three maybe? I don't really know," I say.

"you don't even remember how many people you've slept with...? have you had more kids with this guy?" he scoffs.

"Derek," I say.

"you said you're in love with him, when you fell in love with me you had three children with me," he says.

"No, the only kids I have are yours," I say.

"so what made you want to move to Minnesota?" he asks.

"a job offer there," I say.

"what about when I wanted us to move here?" he asks.

"that was different, it only benefited you, you had a wife that didn't want to go, and right now I don't have anyone else to think about the opinion of, the kids don't care about where we live... and you just said you don't want to live in Seattle," I say.

"why Minnesota?" he asks.

"job. why, do you want to stay here?" I ask.

"no, if I stay here then they'll come back," he says.

"who will come back?" I ask.

"that's not important right now," he says.

"Okay, do you not want to move to Minnesota?" I ask.

"where does your boyfriend live?" he asks.

"... Minnesota," I say, trying not to cringe.

"where does he work?" he asks.

"the same place I will," I say.

"so you're going to see him everyday?" he asks.

"I might," I say.

"then no," he says.

"Derek, you don't have anything to worry about. Nick and I hardly even act like a couple when we are together," I say.

"you're still dating him, how can you move with your husband and kids when you have a boyfriend?" he says.

"I'm going to break up with him when we're back in Seattle," I say.

"why not now?" he asks.

"because Nick is a good person and I don't want to break up with him over text or a call," I say.

"so you were actually planning on spending the rest of your life with him?" he asks.

"Derek... you have to understand I thought you were dead and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life miserable... I have three kids and I can't be a good mother if I'm miserable," I say.

"we have three kids," he says.

"my point exactly. I don't want you to worry about any of that right now though," I say.

"then what do I worry about?" he asks.

"nothing, you're going to be in Seattle by tomorrow, you can see Zola and Bailey again and you can meet Ellis," I smile, taking his hand in mine.

"she doesn't even know who I am," he says looking away.

"of course she does. she knows what you look like enough to draw you... and I know that because our fridge is full of pictures that she's drawn, including the drawings of us getting married," I say.

"she draws pictures of us getting married?" he asks.

"yes, she hates that we didn't have a real wedding so everyday she comes up with a new scenery a draws us a wedding there... she also has a photo of you in her bedroom, so does Zola and Bailey... they still know exactly who their father is," I say.

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