Mind, Speed, Hate The Psycho

NATHAN'S STORY

NATHAN'S POV

Should I tell her? I really don't like sharing this with people. I told Cassandra but I didn't think I'd have to tell anybody else. Why did she have to ask me this question?

"Ava we should just leave that to topic for another day." I'm not telling her my life story. I don't need anyone pitying me. I already feel like shit thinking about it.

"Nathan you yelled at me. You literally said shit towards me in anger that day. I really want to know what got you like that." Her voice is soft and really soothing if you ask me. She cupped my cheek. "Please. I won't bother you today if you tell me."

"Now that's a promise we both know you won't keep." I scoffed at the thought.

"I know but please. I want to know. I'm tired of being in the dark Nathan." She looked down and sad all of a sudden. "You don't know what it's like Nathan. Being in the dark. Always looking over you shoulder because you're scared that the next thing that happens is an attack against your life."

"You've probably seen me since this started. I get agitated over every phone call. I'm scared to open a book. I turn around to make sure shit doesn't happen to me suddenly. I don't even know when last I got a good nap without waking up every thirty minutes to make sure my surroundings are the same way I left it."

She was right. I may not have talked to her but I've watched since the first day of the argument. She's always on her paranoid. Always on her toes. Checking, worrying, anxious.

"I'm here for you. Nothing's gonna happen." I said cupping her cheeks.

"That's exactly what I'm worried about. What happens when you're not?" Tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm scared. I'm living a life that I do not have any idea as to what's the cause and it doesn't help that you guys know what's happening and you keep me in the dark. I've tried asking Sandra but she doesn't know. Cass keeps telling me it's not her secret to reveal. Nathan I'm losing my head here."

I really don't like seeing her like this. Seems I've grown another weakness. I just hope it really doesn't affect me negatively like others.

"Fine. I'll tell you my part of the story and what I know. To keep you on a safe side and clear your anxiety."

Memories of that afternoon came back and I feel like dying again. I died. I died when they all died. Cassandra came and made me back a bit. I feel lifeless.

I pick her. I'm running. I'm running to where it all began. Where my entire problems and fucked up life began.

The building. The place I grew up. The place I became a murderer.

I killed an entire family.

I turned to Ava. A look of recognition flashes through her face.

"Have you been hear before?"

"I saw it on the internet." Now the look of confusion takes over. "I don't understand Nathan, what are we doing here?"

"I want to tell you my own story."

"This is going to be a long day. Listen after hearing this story, you have every right to hate me.

When I was little, I had a brother. A twin brother." The lump is starting to form in my throat thinking about what I did. "I was the wildcat of the family. Trying to piss everybody off. Anyone who saw me just knew I'd turn out to be a rebel. My brother his was different. He was born with natural dreads or as Africans slash Nigerians call it "dada." He was seen as the more reasonable one of both of us even at the age of ten. The world was an inhuman world. Even though we behaved differently and had different ways of life of life we were inseparable. He was smart, I was cocky. He was the brains anytime we wanted to hatch a scheme, I was the muscles because I could do the stuff fast and strong without much stress. We were doing good." I heave in a sigh.