My writing literally started with a dream.
I started writing almost exactly a year ago on wattpad. One day, I just woke up from a scary dream, with a jerk. But I was more fascinated than terrified (which just shows how abnormal I am!). I couldn't believe that my mind could formulate such great stories. So on a whim, I grabbed my laptop and typed the whole story down before it gradually slipped from my mind. And I had just started being on wattpad. Having a platform to share my work so easily, I published it.
I had always been an imaginative one and kind of lonely on the top of that. So I used to fabricate my own story, in different universe and play out the parts myself! I know, it sounds ridiculous. But I was a dreamer and I had plenty of free time to develop and play out my imaginations. Sometimes, my stories would go on for days!
My first story didn't grab much attention, except having some comments telling me that it was a really fresh and unique idea. But I had many grammatical mistakes and the flow wasn't right. I have re-written that story so endless time till this date. And it still didn't catch much attention. I realized that romantic stories, more than horror are popular on wattpad. And I do have a romantic side which is very rarely shown. So I started to show it. I wrote 1-2 short stories, one short novel after that. But the main problem with me was that I had too many ideas at once and too little time and motivation to work on them all. Still I tried.
But then, I entered one of my very important academic year. I couldn't find enough time to let my imagination run wild and nurture my stories. They started to come out half baked and raw. My characters started to lose focus, with me. And I started to drift away from writing and reading too. I almost stopped using wattpad. So much so that once it used to be my top frequented site, even more than facebook and now it is nowhere in that list.
Some days, I get an urge to write. I never have any content. I just want to feel the key board forming something on the screen. I open microsoft word like I'm an alcoholic with no money, and I just stare at the blank page. I haven't updated any of my stories in months. I have the ideas but those damned words just don't form.
I know my writing isn't world class or even good and it hurts me to no end. I wish I had something better to offer to my somewhat loyal readers (I know there aren't many). This is all I have. Those half completed, messy stories might just show a lazy, average writer to you. But to me, they represent my dreams. I can see them every day. But reaching them is a task which seems too difficult right now.
I'm aware that I'm losing followers. And the ones which I aren't losing don't even remember that they follow me. I'm just one of their endless list of 'following' because I seemed interesting. I really don't blame them. I think I'm a bit overreacting here. But I'm beyond caring. I'm just glad that I wrote something constructive for the first time in almost 3-4 months.
So this is kind of an apology from me to all of you, who know me, had some hopes from me which I couldn't fulfil. This is an apology for abandoning you people. I hate disappointing those few of you who believed in me.
I shared some of my dreams with you. And I'm sorry I broke them.
