Besitos

12

I avoid Vic the next day. I'm not proud of it and I don't even want to avoid him, but I don't know quite what to say to him. Its not like I can just go up to him and be like 'oh hey, sorry for crying the other day but thanks for kissing me, it was really cool and I want to do it again.' I mean, I could say that, actually, but then what kind of loser would I look like? It would be pathetic. So for that reason alone, I avoid him. I think maybe he's doing the same because he doesn't try to speak to me either. Maybe he regrets it. 

Unfortunately, an unexpected part of avoiding Vic means little social interaction. I didn't realize how much I saw him before now, but truth is like every second of the day was spent with him, aside from our time performing or travelling. 

For the past day now all I've seen is our bus. I'm actually afraid to step off it in case he's there. Even now as I'm headed down to our changing room I'm afraid to run into him.

Luckily I make it in without running into him, but instead running right into what looks like an awkward moment between Lila and Mac. I'm not sure which scenario is worse.

"You guys good?" I ask, my hand still on the door handle in case an exit is my best strategy here.

"Yeah, we're good." Lila says quickly, a blush creeping over her cheeks.

I look at Mac to see if his face is giving away whats going on but much to my annoyance its completely blank. Fucking Mac with his incredible poker face. The amount of money I've had to give to him after he's bluffed me out of a great hand is beyond annoying. 

"Talking about me?" I muse while hoping thats not actually the case.

To my surprise Lila actually laughs a little at this. "No, we're not. We were talking about the band and how it started and everything."

"Oh." I say as I sit down beside Mac on the couch. "That was so long ago."

"We were young then." Mac says with a grin. 

"Some of us still are." Lila jokes. She's the youngest of us at all 26 and she never lets us forget it.

"Don't start." I warn. "I'm only a year older than you."

"Yeah, but you guys were, what, 18 when we started this?" Mac says.

I smile as I think back to it. We were super young when we started the band. Lila wasn't even 18 yet, her birthday was two months after our "first" show. It was at some random bar in the city we were living at the time. Our first song was called Window's Exit and it was loosely based on the girlfriend Mac had just broken up with at the time. He had gone over one night to surprise her on their anniversary but it turns our she was cheating on him so he wound up sneaking out her bathroom window and then never talked to her ever again. God, at the time he was so heartbroken over her. I think our whole first album was centered around her a little.

Almost as if he's reading my mind, Mac says "Yeah, fuck Julia."

Instantly all three of us burst out laughing. 

"Remember our first tour after we got big?" Lila says. "Julia showed up and kept trying to get backstage to talk to you."

"Oh man." Mac groans. "That was so fucking awkward. It had been like three years since we dated at that point."

"We all made some dating mistakes at the beginning." Lila says, her eyes focused on me. "Some of us dated worse people than Julia. Some of us dated Tyler."

"Hey!" I exclaim. "In my defense, he was really cute. And he wasn't that bad!"

"He didn't text you for two months then asked to borrow five grand." Mac says.

I can't help but laugh at this. "Okay, so he wasn't all that great. But," I say turning my attention to Lila. "Don't forget that you dated Ben."

"Oh ew." Mac says, his face turning into one of disgust. "Yep, Ben was the worst. He gave me the fucking creeps."

"He once watched me sleep for six hours." she says. "That was the last straw for me."

"He was so messed up." I say.

"I'm surprised we haven't dated each other." Lila muses. "I mean, we've all been together for almost 10 years, I'm just surprised no one's caught feelings."

I resist the urge to look at Mac. From the corner of my eyes I can see him glance at me before looking back to Lila. Its so discreet that I wonder if she noticed.

"I was into you." Mac says to her, catching me completely be surprise.

"What? when?" shes asks, clearly just as surprised as I am. "When we first started?"

"Dude, no. You were 17, I was 20." he points out. "It was a couple of years ago. During the tour for our Vexxed album."

I think that was four years ago, but at this point the tours just blend together.

"Are you kidding?" Lila says. "I had the worst haircut of my life that year. I had bang. Not bangs, just one side was cut." she says, folding her hair up on one side to show us her 'bang' that she had.

"It was cute!" Mac says with a laugh. "Plus we were always together since Wren was off with Tyler."

A part of me is actually a bit jealous that he was into her. Maybe if I hadn't have been with Tyler so much Mac would've been into me and we could've like, dated or something. But then again we've both been single since then and we haven't made it work, so maybe we're better off as friends. Its simpler.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Lila asks sincerely. 

Mac gives a little shrug. Its clear that he doesn't want to talk about this anymore.

"I didn't wanna mess the band up." he says. 

"Its against the rules anyways." I chime in which earns me an amused look from Mac.

The door to our changing room bangs open and Ray's never amused face appears.

"You guys are on soon." he says. "Just checking that you know that."

"PTV hasn't even got to their encore yet." Lila says. "We still have at least 15 minutes."

"Yeah, you do." he agrees. "And I want you guys upstairs for them. Still need to get your pieces in and your-"

"We're coming." Lila says cutting him off.

Out of all of us, Lila's the one who stands up to him the most. I guess she knows that without her there wouldn't be a band, and Ray knows that very well. If Mac or I quit they could easily find people to replace us, but Lila's voice is the thing thats got us this far. Ray may hate to admit it, but we all know he respects it.

"Upstairs in two." he says giving us his best stern look.

As the door closes behind him we all look at each other.

"Now thats a person who I'm surprised is still here." Lila says with a laugh.

The three of us is a given, but Ray sticking with us has been a surprise.

"To us." Mac says, lifting his Redbull in the air.

"To us!" Lila and I cheer as we join in.

"Now lets go do what we're best at." Mac says.

We all get up and head upstairs feeling great and more importantly, feeling together.