Besitos

14

I'm sat at the table in the kitchen, last nights clothes still on, tummy grumbling and eyes avoiding the person in front of me.

Ray stares down at me, his face unamused. Its not that much different than how he usually looks at me, but this time he has a good reason. Okay, not a good reason per say, but a reason. And that's enough for Ray.

"Wren." he says, snapping me out of my head. 

"Ye-" I start then clear my throat. Not guilty at all. "Yeah?"

"Nothing you want to say for yourself?" he asks.

I know what hes doing. He's trying to get me to tell on myself. It gives him more ammo in case I slip up and say more than he knows. Its happened so many times before, now I know to just keep silent and try not to say anything more than he does.

"No, nothing." I say.

I feel like I've been pulled over for speeding and Ray is the cop that likes to humiliate people. If the whole band/tour/person manager didn't workout for him a scornful police officer would be the best career switch honestly. Maybe I should tell him that.

"You're going to make me say it then?" he questions, as if I've committed a murder, which makes me want to really tell him about the police thing.

"Yes?" I say, my voice coming out as a question rather than a statement.

"Wren, you went did an interview a week ago saying you were single and then a day ago a photo of you kissing Vic, who I might remind you is the lead singer of the other band you're on this current tour with, went viral." he says. "This isn't a great look for you."

"Why not? It'll generate buzz between our fan bases." I say.

He looks at me like I'm stupid. "No, it wont. You know what'll happens. Your fans will be mad they can't get you. They'll be mad that Lila and Vic wont be together. Vic's fans will hate you because you're with him."

"Thats not how its going to-"

"Oh no?" Ray asks, cutting me off. "Thats not how it happened with Lila and James, right? Or Mac and Ashley? The time you tried to date Reece? Wren, I care about you. I care about how you're treated, with the fans, with the people you date, with everyone."

This is the first time he's ever been kind to me like this, saying he cares. Its bullshit, though. Its complete bullshit. All he wants is to control me, control the band. Its his job. Its all he's ever done. And he loves doing it.

"This is a mistake." he tells me. "You need to end things with Vic before your numbers start to fall off."

"Seriously, Ray?" I ask, starting to get annoyed. "This is about numbers?"

"Do you think Vic matters more than your fans? Or your numbers? Come on, Wren, he doesn't. Use your brain here."

"Ray you're being a bigger dick than usual." I say. "This thing with Vic just started. I have no idea whats going on, but its not going to ruin the band."

God, where does he get off deciding whats good or not for us. He hardly even knows us as people, to him we're just little puppets that make money for him. Its always been about that. Every single goddamn day and Im tired of it.

Ray goes to respond but I cut him off before he has the chance. 

"And so what if it does?" I ask, my voice loud. "Maybe I'm tired of the band. Maybe I want to be a normal fucking person, okay?"

"You're at the height of your career, Wren, you're not going to just throw it away right now, are you?" he asks, his volume matching mine. "You'd do that to Lila and Mac? Just throw your whole fucking career out the window?"

"I don't know!" I yell as I stand up. "I'm tired of being tired. I'm exhausted every fucking night! You have us in back to back tours, sometimes travelling from one country to another in days. And when we're not touring you want us to write more shit. We can't drop an album every single year!"

"Not with this lack of dedication you can't!" he yells and slams his hand down on the table, right beside me. "You're fucking us all over if you think you're going to quit. You're in this band for a reason, fucking act like it."

"Yeah, I'M  in the band." I point out. "You're negotiable. You're just a fucking manager and honestly you're doing a shit job."

"I'm doing a shit job?" he says, now in my face. "Me? Really?" he laughs.

"Yeah, you are. You treat us like fucking slaves. We need days off, we need months off. We need to relax sometimes for fucks sake."

"No, you don't. You need to learn to work better and deal with your issues."

"I'm trying to do that right now, but yet you're still fucking here!" I say and instantly regret it. Yelling at Ray is one thing, but insulting him like this is a whole other thing. 

"Wren, get the fuck out of my face." he says, his voice low and angry.

"Then get the fuck off my bus!" I yell at him, pointing to the door.

He comes in close to me and to my surprise grabs my hair and pulls my ear close to his mouth.

"You need to learn to watch your fucking mouth." he says, pulling my head more.

"Get the fuck off me." I say, trying to push him off me, but all it does is makes his grip tighten.

"Stop moving and fucking listen carefully to what I'm going to say next."

My neck strains from the force. My scalp is burning with pain from my hair being pulled and for the first time ever with Ray I'm genuinely scared. Usually he's annoying, but I've never seen him this angry and I don't know what he's going to do next and that frightens me.

"Get your shit together." he says into my ear. "And shut the fuck up."

With that he lets go of me and pushes me back towards the kitchen booth. Instead I end up getting the table directly in my hip, before falling half onto the bench. A sharp pain shoots through my body, leaving my hip throbbing. I try to adjust myself quickly in case of anything, but he's already turned and is on his way off the bus.

I stare at the door after he leaves, almost afraid to get up in case he comes back.