Closer

Senior Year Here I Come

Thursday September 8, 2015
I wake up to Waves by Mr Probz blaring from my phone. Hurrily hitting dismiss I slam my head back onto the pillow and think about how much I need to wake up. Before I know it, Atlas is on my bed laying on my legs and Chaos is trying to cuddle me, pushing up against me. My babies have gotten much bigger since I got them, gaining at least 10 pounds and almost doubling in size. Chaos is squirming and yipping, and I sit up and reach out to pet her, only making Atlas jealous.
"Aww. My baby is jealous. Don't be I love you to my boy." I say rubbing his face as he wags his tail and licks my chin.
"Mommy has to go to school today. We don't like that do we? Nuh uh! No we don't. I'll miss my babies so much!" I coo to my dogs, and I swear they know what I'm saying as they look at me sad, but happy when I say I'll miss them. I get out of my bed, my dogs hot on my heels and walk to my closet. My stomach was pretty fucking huge and I had to stop wearing most of my regular clothes, getting all my shirts two sizes bigger and I flat out quit wearing jeans. Today I chose to wear a black and pink tribal print maxi dress that clung to my body and showed off my bump. I'm currently 4 months and one week pregnant. I decide to let my now well past my hips hair out in its curls that I made last night, and just put in some eyeliner and tinted chapstick. For my shoes I put on some gladiator sandals that aren't fully up the legs, but some to just the tip of the ankle, my toes are fat and painted black and pink to match the dress. I grab my keys and stash my phone in my bag ready to go.
"Babe. Ready? Or are you taking your car?" I yell out to Storm.
"Lucas is driving me! And Maria said Jesus is taking her!" She calls back. Tsk. I knew they would all hit it off.
"Tell these bitches I want some time with y'all too!" I call back. Ever since they all hooked up I barely see my little sister or Twinn anymore because they are always out with these men.
"I'm sorry." Storm calls out, which makes me tear up.
"Sure, its like I don't matter anymore. Who cares about Nakoema right?" I ask, full out crying.
"Thanks Storm! Just fucking great!" I yell wiping away my tears. These mood swings are crazy and more hectic the further I get in my pregnancy. Storm just comes out of the bathroom clad in high waisted black shorts and a red crop top her hair in a bun, mouth agape.
"Ko-"
"No. I get it. It doesn't matter. Bye." I say slamming the door and rushing to my truck. Getting in I hurry up and start it, but Storm opens the door before I can rush away.
"Nakoema. I'm sorry." She says. I fix my face on the house.
"Is that all?" I ask.
"Please look at me." She begs
"Please get out of my truck." I say using the same voice she did, refusing to look at her. My brain is telling me that I should be pissed, but my heart is telling me I'm being stupid. I listen to my brain, knowing I'll forgive her later.
"Storm Reign Smith, get out." I say after she doesn't leave for a while.
"Nako-"
"GET OUT! Please!" I beg. Her presence is confusing me. I want to smack her, and hug her and tell her Im sorry, but at the same time I want her to feel pain, feel betrayed. My emotions are all fucked up. Storm just nods her head, and leaves my car. I sigh in relief when she's gone and call Dakota.
"Hunny buns, you want a lift? Or are you going to drive that sexy beast Mom bought ya?" I ask her, hoping she says she needs a lift.
"Actually I was wondering if I could come pick you up. Please say yea babe! Please please please!" She says and I can hear her jumping on the other end.
"Fine! I need a lift. Be here soon, I'll be in my truck." I say, not elaborating.
"Long story?" She asks.
"When are they ever short?" Is my reply.
Ten minutes later Dakota pulls into my driveway, along with a motorcycle behind it. Lucas hops off the bike and makes way to the door. Seeing him both angers me beyond compare and makes me so happy.
"Lucas!" I yell to him. He comes over to me, and by the time he does I'm crying for the umpteenth time this morning.
"Lucas, I really like you and all, but can you please give me my sister back? I never see her anymore. Hell I don't even see you! And since Deja moved out officially, and Mya went to summer camp it's just been me and my dogs. Literally. Dakota was at her aunts until yesterday, Mya is still at camp, Ma has been out of country in Brazil for a week, Storm's been with you, Maria is with Jesus, Ryan is with his birther, the Nicks are nesting, and Isaiah is gone. You all left me!" I say as I sob.
"I just want some time with her!" I cry. "I want time with people. It's like you all isolated me! What did I do wrong?"
"Shhh. Darling. Now it's okay, you did nothing wrong." Lucas says holding me at arms length so he can smile at me. "I didn't mean for you to feel this way, and I sure as hell didn't know you were all alone. I'll respect your need for time with your sister more. I'm so sorry hunny." He says pulling me into as much as a bear hug as he can with my big stomach.
"Thank you." I say, smiling at him.