Webbed Up Hearts // WooSan

XV - Still Grieving...

June 21
Hospital - 16:47

'ICU...'

My heart went from feeling like a deadweight, to absolutely nothing at all. I couldn't feel anything. The sounds around me faded and it sounded like I was underwater. My vision fogged up but I still saw how the doctor turned and left, I saw how my friends crowded around me in a group hug, and I saw how Yeosang eventually told them all to back off before he began dragging me down the halls.

He brought me out to the hospital garden and sat me down on a bench, carefully sitting next to me with our thighs and arms touching.

"Come back to me, Wooyoungie..." The voice was faint and muffled, but I knew it was Yeosang's. His hand was placed on my thigh, slowly rubbing it. "Come on, bubs. Come back."

Slowly - very slowly - the water drained from my ears and the clouds in my eyes went back to their places in the sky. My eyelids drooped a bit but I quickly opened my eyes fully and looked over at my best friend, a blank look on my face.

"You here with me, bubs?"

"Mhm."

"I just wanna make sure- Can you tell me what you see? What you hear?"

I slowly looked around me, taking in the sights, smells, and sounds.

I could see a few different types of flowers around the garden; red roses, sunflowers, daisies, and some blue flowers I don't know the name of. But when I looked behind me, I found a bunch of white roses planted specifically in that area, creating a beautiful scene to just sit and stare at.

With a few sighs and mumbles, I explained how I saw the flowers to Yeosang.

After that, I explained to him the different smells. Like when I turned around, I'd get a giant whiff of the white roses, but if I turned to my left, it was a more soft and muted scent, a mixture of several different smells. One scent did stand out to me, though: fresh cut grass.

The smell of freshly cut grass was always something comforting for me. It brought back the happy memories from when I was young. My father would always cut the grass and the moment I'd hear the lawnmower turn off, I'd run outside and roll around in the grass.

I paused while speaking, reminiscing about the past.

I hadn't realized how much I missed my father until now. I've lived my whole life almost without him, it's sometimes hard to believe I had him in my arms at one point.

'I miss his hugs...'

I hesitantly began speaking again, telling Yeosang what I heard. Which wasn't much, honestly, just a few elderly people chatting, a couple nurses and doctors chatting while waiting for said elderly people to go back inside, and the sound of the wind in my ears.

Yeosang smiled a little while I explained this all to him.

"I'm glad you're back but..."

I looked at him skeptically. "What...?"

He sighed heavily, "You're not gonna like what I have to tell you... I mean, you already know this, but Ren confirmed it all..."

I moved away from Yeo a little.

"So... the bastard really was cheating?"

I could see how Yeosang flinched a bit due to the change in my voice. It wasn't blank or lifeless, it was dark and hollow. They seem similar, almost the same, but trust me, there's a huge difference.

"Yes... He was dating some other girl long before he met your mother. Wooyoung, Ren was only using her to get to you-"

"ME!?"

"You're Spiderman..." Yeo whispered, dropping his head a bit but holding eye contact with me. Unbeknownst to me, my hands curled into tight fists that were pried apart by the boy next to me as he spoke once more. "And he knows it. And he's going to use that against you."

"Fuck him..." I grumbled under my breath, yanking my hands away from Yeosang's and forcing myself to my feet.

"Wooyoung-" He tried to stand up and stop me, but I shoved him away and back onto the bench.

'Why did I push him? And so harshly, too?'

"Fuck. Him." It was almost as if I was a radioactive spider that bit Yeosang due to the amount of venom in my voice and the way he flinched back.

I slapped his hands away from me yet again when he reached out and stormed back into the building. I trudged right past all my friends, ignoring their calls and yells. Sure, it hurt to ignore them, but I felt especially bad for ignoring San - who sounded almost as broken as my family when I pushed past him and out the main doors of the hospital.

Suddenly, the only thought in my head was my father. My feet ran on their own while my mind was too busy tearing itself apart, the memories and pain and grief being too much for me to handle.

"Hey there, Junior Detective."

The voice I had pushed to the back of my head for so long finally rose to the surface, forcing out a few sobs along the way. It ripped apart the confines of my mind and brought out another voice I missed so dearly.

"Hey buddy! How's my baby brother, hm?"

I forced myself to stay upright and keep running even though my throat burned and my eyes stung from the sobs and tears forcing their ways out of my body. Eventually, my body gave out and I collapsed in a back alleyway, falling against the wall onto my knees, scraping the skin on them and my hands while trying to break my fall.

'Why...?'

"Why... What did we do to deserve all of this...?" My head hung low, my eyes screwed shut as I whispered into the thin air.

I choked on my breaths while trying to even out my breathing, hoping to clear my mind a bit and get my suit on.

"Focus, dumbass. Get your damn spidey suit on!" My voice was nothing more than a whisper-shout.

When my breathing slowed a bit and my mind was two seconds away from fully focusing on my suit, I lifted my head to find something to help me stand up, but what I saw made me forget everything else that was previously occupying my thoughts.

Min fucking Ren.

"Motherfucker..." I breathed out.