You Would Never Understand (AkuRoku)

You Would Never Understand

Hello, well this is an AkuRoku story, which includes Axel and Roxas from KH, this is Yaoi so if that offends don't read. There is also self harm, so if that offends don't read this. I don't own Kingdom Hearts in anyway shape or form. If I did I'd be a character and would marry Axel, but until that happens I don't own it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------He took in his surroundings, door locked and blinds pulled shut, and he’s safe. He pulled up his sleeve as he felt the cold white tile under my feet as he stood on it. He looked at his arm in the mirror; he loved the look of it. His body reflected outside what he knew he was on the inside, tainted, ugly, monstrous, and undeserving of anything. After all, it was his fault. He was slowly balancing out the universe this way. He took it upon himself to take care of all the terrible things he’s done. He moved his right hand to his left elbow, raking his nails on his forearm, all the way up to the palm. He felt the ragged skin under his fingertips as he tugged at the scars. Roxas then pulled the pocket knife out of his jeans, the sight of it was inviting to him, the cool blade twirling around in his fingers. He used to cut with razors, but with time found out that knives got the job done easier.

He put pressure on the skin of his left arm, slowly and deeply pulling it across his skin. He closed his eyes as he embraced the pain, almost savoring it. Roxas did this about 10 more times. He looked at the crimson liquid flowing down his arm, noticing how it swallowed everything in its path. He loved that about the blood, it consumed everything if there was enough of it. He released himself from the beautiful sight and grabbed the plastic container of isopropyl alcohol. He twisted the cap open and the clear substance slowly trickled down his once smooth forearm. He didn’t mind the unnecessary sting that tickled his arm. He turned on the sink and watched as the blood began dripping down his arm and turned the once clear water a pink- red color. He sat there repeating the rinse cycle for about 10 min. Next, he grabbed a towel from the ground and wiped his wet arm off. Roxas sighed gently, staring at the arms with scars covering them.

Time for school…

Roxas silently stripped and stepped into the steaming shower, he didn’t pay the scalding water any attention. He got washed, stepped out, and put on his outfit for the day, black pants consisting with a red and white checkered short sleeve shirt, black hoodie, and some black shoes. He grabbed his black back pack and walked down the tan carpeted stairs into the kitchen. He lugged himself to the pantry and pulled came back with some cereal.  He contemplated for a second, debating if he was actually hungry or not. Deciding he would eat after school he put the cereal back. Without making a sound he slipped out the door, not desiring to wake his Mom and get slapped around a little bit, not that he could blame her, it was his fault. He locked the front door with his house key that hung on his lanyard.

He made his walking commute to school, waving and smiling as he saw his friends waiting at the entrance. The smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, but after a year or two of this, he had it down pat. Nobody noticed, or cared, and he preferred to keep it that way.

“Hi guys”He greeted them enthusiastically. He looked to all his friends, Demyx,  Sora, Riku, Kairi, Namine, and Larxene. They were great, his tight-knit group of friends, but of course he could never really let them know what’s going on. He just made them think they knew all his secrets, all the things kept close to his mind, but of course that wasn’t the case.

“Hey Roxas, aren’t you hot with all the clothes?” Demyx gestured to Roxas’ jacket and jeans.

“Nope, you know me, I’m always freezing.”  He replied with a nervous laugh as he thought of how he was actually dying out in the heat and the real reason he had no option to do anything else.

They all turned to Namine as she began to talk, “Hey, did you know there’s a new student coming today?”

“Oh, that’s interesting, is it a boy or a girl? I will bet anyone of y’all 20 dollars it’ll be a girl.” Larxene said with a smirk.

Demyx pulled out his wallet, “Ok, I bet you it’ll be a boy; I have one of those feelings.”

He watched them handshake, making it official right as the bell for first period rang.

They all more or less went their separate ways and made their way to first period. He walked to his seat, making sure to greet his friends in the class. He closed his eyes, trying to relax before he got bothered by someone. The teacher walked in and smiled at the students. He pulled his notebook and pencil out of his binder, waiting for her to put some math problems on the board.

Though he was left waiting as she started talking and gesturing to the kid standing at the front of the classroom “Class, we have a new student today, his name is Axel.”

He looks interesting

Roxas smirked, as he eyed him. Axel had flaming spiky red hair that resembled fire and jade green eyes, he was pretty good looking. He also had these tattoos under his eyes, they looked like upside down raindrops.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as the teacher started talking, “Axel, you may take a seat next to Roxas in the back. Roxas could you raise your hand?”

Roxas raised it and Axel made his way back to the back of the room. As Axel did this Demyx threw Roxas a note, it read: “YEP, THAT’S RIGHT, I JUST GOT 20 BUCKS RICHER!”Roxas laughed silently to himself and gave Demyx a thumbs up.

AN: Sorry this chapter was sorta short! :/ The next chapter which I'm currently working on won't be as short! Oh and if anyone would like to be my Beta Reader Please PM me, I need one