You Would Never Understand (AkuRoku)

Chapter 4

Hello great great readers! How are you? I am happy cause I just finished my fucking science project in 2 hours. And  it looks freakin awesome! Ahhhhhh the life of a procrastinator, it feels great when you know that you only have a few hours to finish your school work. Anyway, I shall try to make this chapter as good if not better as last chapter!!! :D Review please!

Roxas looked at the wall ahead of him as he lied down on the mat that Riku gave him. He pondered about the new boy, Axel. He wondered if he would be the one, the one he could tell all his secrets to that is. He pondered this way about all his friends individually, wondering if one of them would ever do something to gain his trust. Maybe they would find out accidentally, without consent, which was the way it would most likely happen. Roxas hated showing people his vulnerabilities, he preferred himself being seen as strong. If Roxas had his way, no one would ever know his being was slowly being eroded away, inside out. He had no idea what he would do when all there was left would be the space where he used to be.  He’d just have to make do.

He closed his eyes and turned over, much of what he’d been doing the past hours; he had repeated this process ever since Axel came to get him and brought him back from outside. The encounter of what he had with him downstairs had been very surprising, but not surprising. He wouldn’t be surprised when things turned out the way they do with everyone else. Roxas would start to back away a little bit, making sure to distance himself the smallest amount, to make sure he would go un-noticed by everyone else. And being the sly guy he was, he did. Of course after that he’d get a little more distant, then a little more, and then a little more until you realized the two people were almost like strangers once more

Oh well, he would hopefully just play it out like the rest.  

Roxas almost frowned at that, letting it play out like this. He hoped secretly maybe one day, he would be saved. Someone would save the boy inside. If they didn’t of course he wouldn’t blame anyone. He brought this upon himself. And he would stay like this the rest of his life, blaming himself, right? He softly shook his head at the thought, that probably wouldn’t be so bad, not when that’s how it should be. Not when it’s what he knew he deserved. He decided to abandon his thoughts, listen to his iPod, and fall asleep to that.

Roxas’ became half alive again when he heard some muffled voices in the room. He tried to fall back into the emptiness that was sleep, but of course he did not get what he wanted. He coaxed himself into sitting up, convincing himself that when he got up and around he wouldn’t be so tired. He held the sleeves of his ill-fitting shirt with his fingers as he put his arms above his head to loosen his muscles before starting his day. Roxas also rolled his head around in circles trying to relax but stay awake. As one last attempt to ready himself for the day he rubbed his tired blue eyes.

He then remembered the voices that woke him from his gentle slumber and glared around the room. His eyes were met with the sight of Axel, Demyx, Sora, and Riku all huddled in a corner and talking quietly. He stood up, trying to be as silent as possible and made his way under Riku’s bed to get closer to the conversation without being seen. After crawling from one side to the other he perked his ear up and tried to listen to what the quartet of teens were saying.

Roxas closed his eyes in an attempt to get his ears to work better, “Maybe we could get some markers and draw on him?”

Demyx put that idea on the table but it was quickly shot down by Riku’s reasoning, “No too risky. If I remember correctly from all the times Roxas has spent the night, he is a light sleeper, and he would wake up the second we all got within a marker’s reach of him.”

Roxas could see the back Demyx head go up and down in a nod motion. He could only see the faces of Riku, Axel, and half of Sora’s. Riku rested his head in his hand as the thought of ideas. Axel was squinting and looking up with a concentrated expression on his face, also trying thinking of a fun way to wake up the blonde. Of course it would only be fun for them and not the blonde. Sora had his eyebrows knitted together and was glaring at the floor, still deciding if he should help them or not, he was apprehensive about the idea from the beginning.