You Would Never Understand (AkuRoku)

Chapter 8

Hi Well this one should be longer and out earlier but my computer fuckin sucks

*Line*

Roxas pulled the white long sleeve shirt over his head, relishing the feeling of the soft material that ran over his scarred arms and torso. He sighed, filling the empty air with the sound. He attempted to rid his mind of the worry that clouded it; he scrutinized his appearance as he looked himself over in the mirror, his eyes narrowing. He looked at his blonde hair that had some shine, and then to his white shirt that sort of gave him an angelic appearance despite the demon he felt he was. His eyes strayed away from his torso and onto his lower body; he looked at the light wash jeans that were rolled up to show his mid-calf down. And finally, his eyes met the black and white checkered slip on shoes that covered his feet. Mhmm he looked okay. He checked his arms and torso again in the mirror to make sure the shirt wasn’t the littlest bit of see through, he was fine.

He closed his eyes and sat down on the edge of his bed, not paying attention to how he was half on the floor since his under-weight-ness barely made the bed dip. He took in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, he needed to relax, and there was no reason to stress out, right? Yeah, it was fine; he was going to hang out with Demyx and the guys, and also Demyx’s new boyfriend that no one had yet met. The only reason he had to be nervous was that this little party would be in Demyx’s backyard where they would all be swimming. What if he got wet and his shirt became transparent, what would happen? What would his friends think of him? Would they tell everyone? Would they think he’s crazy? Is he crazy? Would he be alone again, more alone than he already is?

 He stopped when he realized he was breathing quick and heavy, not in the mood for a bad panic attack of some sort. He needed to calm down. Nothing would happen. Nothing would happen. Nothing would happen. Yeah, he just needed to sway back and forth soothingly and repeat this though over and over and he should be fine. He threw that idea away, decided to lead his mind astray from the event taking place in an hour, and think about the past week. He’d been hanging out with Axel mostly all week; the boy wasn’t that bad it turned out. Well to be specific, Axel didn’t want to make Roxas punch him in the face 100% of the time, it was more like only 98% of the time. It also turns out, Axel fuckin sucked at math. Apparently, Axel wasn’t the best in the grades department, but math was his extreme downfall. He was getting better though.... more or less... less. It was okay, cause in time Axel would be a badass when it came to math! Roxas would see to it as his personal duty!

He had also got to know his co-worker Zexion a little bit more. He was nice, but quiet. Not that Roxas minded, he liked quiet sometimes. Zexion liked to read and apparently was going to start going to his school next week. Roxas said he would help show him around, though Zexion blushed and said he had someone else who already promised to do so. Roxas concluded he must have a girlfriend or something to show him around. Roxas could never picture himself in a relationship. He just was too closed in, never wanting to be opened. He didn’t want anyone to see how vulnerable he really was. He didn’t need someone who he could tell all his secrets to then end up breaking up with. That’d be his worst nightmare, someone to be with him and then betray him. He didn’t need that.

Roxas just got tired off his mind thinking idly so he fully sat on his bed and pulled out his laptop. What could he find to occupy himself on the device? Hmm, maybe he could play some Minesweeper? He hadn’t played that in a while so this was a good time to... Nah. Sudoku? Yeah that sounded better. He typed in sudoku in a search engine and the screen suddenly lit up with a ton of URL’s. He quickly picked one and started playing as the box of numbers came up. Roxas always loved puzzles; he loved to be challenged and made to think. After finishing the Sudoku and clicking another one. He checked the time in the bottom right corner of the screen, 2:45, Axel better be here soon. Axel had asked on Thursday if he could take him to the party. Roxas didn’t have a ride so he didn’t really mind. It was better than being a hindrance to Riku by asking him to take him places all the time. He hated ever having to ask for help. He preferred to deal with his issues himself.