You Would Never Understand (AkuRoku)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10
Hey! Let's see if we can clean up this disaster, ne?

*LINE*

Axel sat in the driver's seat in his car, gripping the steering wheel like a lifeline as he waited for any sort of reply to his previous text. Would Roxas ever even talk to him again? He twitched at the thought, almost as if it was trying to get out of the guilt that trapped his being and turned him into what he was at the moment; a scared boy trying to do everything in his power to get rid of that aching feeling that he has felt before and never wants to again. It was all genuine; Axel was scared, filled to the brim with unwanted emotions that tore at his mind. The look on Roxas' face filled his mind like a picture that refused to find refuge somewhere else, how could he have done that so easily? Why did he have to be the cause of Roxas' newfound pain? What did he do to have someone look like that, to look like they were being tortured in every way possible and were begging to die, but found no salvation or peace as they were just tortured more? Why hadn't he looked at the boy's face as he had picked up the limp body and noticed that the expression of suffering went deeper than not wanting to get into the pool? Why did it have to be his fault for being so fuckin inattentive and insensitive?!

"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!" Was whatfilled the air in the once silent vehicle. All that was heard were the yells of rage and the bang filled with sorrow that began its existence every time he let the steering wheel be released from his iron grip and hit it over and over. He just kept yelling continuously, looking for some salvation in the words only to find they were empty of anything except the raw emotion that had its hold on him.

And that's when his phone buzzed.

He fumbled around with trembling and unsure hands, trying his best to pull the device out of his pocket and hope-just hope that everything would be okay; that Roxas would say it was fine, he forgave him, and let them continue their journey down the road of friendship. Yeah, hopefully that would happen. Axel felt the peace of reassurance right before feeling his stomach drop, his heart crack a little, and his brain override with worry, anguish, anger, and guilt all at once. The words were written neatly across the bright screen, never had Axel hated his phone so much; he hated the news that it delivered despite how much what he had wanted to read was much much different. He looked at the words once more, hoping, praying that they would magically change; the words would fit themselves to his liking to save him from everything.

From: MY Roxie

Axel, I don't want to talk at all. I'm home. I'm fine. Please, leave me alone for a little while. I don't want to be near anyone at the moment.

Maybe he should just do what he said, maybe he should just the let the blonde cool off and by Monday, he'd be fine. Yeah, he'd just give Roxie some space and it would all just smooth over. He did say he was fine didn't he? Yeah, he did, and he probably is. Axel firmly told himself this over and over, he did this to get rid of the instinct that breathed down his neck and told him that Roxas wasn't okay, that he should be one minute closer to being near him instead of being one minute closer to his own home. He was just being paranoid, right? Yeah, that was all. When he parked he got out of the car and quickly into his bedroom, not saying anything to his parents that tried to question him about how the swim party went.

He just slowly and calmly shut the door and flopped on his bed, feeling some comfort in the warm covers that gave him security from the outside world. He suddenly remembered he had Roxas' iPod in his pocket and pulled it out. He sat up and stared at the thing with curiosity. He caressed it, softly kneading it in his hands as if it were a fragile child. He pulled it in close and held it at eye level. He inspected it carefully; there was a crack in the screen. He laughed, not surprised at the damaged screen for he has witnessed Roxas being clumsy before. A small smile formed on his face when he thought about a few incidents where Roxas had dropped something in the kitchen while getting a snack. He recalled when he had apologized for sending the dish tumbling to the ground with their food on it, and then glared at his hands, reprimanding them silently.