Spirals || Mattheo Riddle

꩜ Chapter 59 ꩜

A/N: Realised I hadn't updated in a while and that we hit 80K!! Sorry for the lack of updates recently guys, I've got exams coming up so lots of studying and not so much writing unfortunately. I'm doing good though and I have finally figured out how I want the story line of Spirals to go! Lots of love x

"Raven, love, could you pour me another cup of tea?" Narcissa's sweet voice was like cold glass to my thoughts. I nodded and reached over to the tray in front of me to pour her sixth cup in the last two hours.

I had given up on having something to absentmindedly drink in half that time. The teapot was still full and warmed thanks to the house elves' magic.

Draco seemed to have left with the remainder of our energy and hope. The floorboard pattern was now burned into the back of my eyelids after staring at it for so long and the sky outside the window was dark as wind billowed around the house like wailing phantoms.

It seemed every time I allowed my mind to drift, it would find its way back to the dead. Thinking of Mossy, Dumbledore, those who had already died tonight, even if I did not yet know their names. So much death, and for what? What cause was great enough to take the lives of those around us without punishment?

I shook my head, freeing myself from the train of thought. I was starting to get twitchy. My knee bounced, providing the only sound in the room aside from the clock's ticking. I had expected Narcissa to tell me off, as my father often did when I fidgeted, but she only stared into the distance, her wrinkles becoming more prominent with her worry.

I didn't know what it was to be a mother. I had no idea what it was to worry about someone's well being, knowing they were my own flesh and bone and my entire responsibility. My only real family had been my father, and his well being was not something I had to concern myself over often.

"I can't wait here any longer, not knowing what's happening," I huffed, standing from my seat. I wobbled momentarily as the blood rushed back down to my legs and regained feeling after sitting for so long.

Narcissa sighed. "You cannot go, Raven, it's not safe," she told me again. The thought had dawned on me that the older woman was wandless and I still had Mattheo's wand safely stashed in its holster at my side. I could leave if I wanted to, but the thought of leaving Narcissa here by herself was the only thing keeping me. "I know you want to go to him, but he would feel better knowing you were safe here."

I didn't know if she was referring to Draco or Mattheo, but I didn't ask. "I know you want to go too. If you had your wand you would be right there with your son," I snapped. Guilt flooded my insides and I softened. "I'm sorry, I just can't handle this."

She nodded sympathetically. "You're right. I would be there. But I made Draco a promise to keep you safe."

"There is nowhere I would be safe if this war does not end tonight. I can defend myself, Narcissa," I argued. Determination built inside me and I began pacing. "I am more useless here than I could be over there."

The blonde witch stood from her chair too, taking cautious steps towards me. "If you want to go, I can't stop you," she whispered. "But if you would so readily sacrifice yourself in the name of those who you love, perhaps you should consider how they would react to losing you."

I paused, looking over at her. My friends, my love, they could go on without me. It was me who couldn't live without them. I needed to help them.

"If I don't return, I need you to tell Draco I'm sorry," I asked, swallowing back my fear. Narcissa stepped back, seeing my decision in my eyes.

"May your magic be strong," she smiled lightly.

I began towards the main doors of the manor, pushing them open and bypassing the house's wards. I had apparated before my foot even touched the porch step.