Spirals || Mattheo Riddle

Chapter 40 ~ Bad timing

Mature content

Mattheos POV ~

A shuffling next to me woke me up. 

My eyes flickered open slowly and I yawned before hearing the light breathing next to me. I froze. 

Digging deep into my brain, I recollected the memories from the prior night.

She asked me why I did it. She stood with tears in her eyes as I searched for any sign she still cared about me.

And then I kissed her. Oh god why did I kiss her.

"Forgive me."

And then she kissed me back. 

My heart started pounding as I ran through the nights events. Her soft hair was splayed across my chest in the same way it had been when we fell asleep last night. We had both stayed.

Her breathing was music to my ears. I thought I could stay like that forever in that moment. 

She was still in her dress, not having bothered to get changed. Her makeup still stained her face from the crying she did last night.

How did I manage to fix and ruin everything at the same time?

I didn't know what we were going to do now. Maybe it only happened because we were both drunk.

That thought hurt. 

A tingling feeling brought my attention to my current state. I groaned as I looked down at the obvious tent in my pants. Little me certainly has timing. 

A panic started spread through my chest as Raven stirred, pulling her arm off me to brush the hair out of her face. 

Fuck. Shes going to think that's all I'm here for.

Not only was I embarrassed, a unfamiliar feeling for me, but I was also panicking about how this conversation would go.

As the drowsiness left her system she stilled, realising I was here too.

"Good morning." I grimaced at my own awkwardness. 

She hummed in response, sitting up and looking around the room, probably checking for her dorm mate.

I took the opportunity to sit up too, grabbing one of the pillows from behind my head and resting it on my lap to cover my little 'issue'. I lent forward and rested my elbows on it, trying to make my stature natural.

Raven glanced at me quickly sending shivers down my spine. She also lent forward, holding her head in her hands and groaning. Probably in pain, she drank a lot.

I cursed myself over a million times as the noise sent another jolt of excitement downstairs.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

"So uh..." She started. 

I couldn't help but huff out a laugh at the horrible awkwardness of the situation. She turned to me, hearing my laugh, and let a smile lighten her face.

My heart dropped to my stomach. She was so perfect. 

"I don't want to have a conversation about this, I just want to get one thing straight," her sudden seriousness damped my mood a little but I let her continue. "I don't forgive you for what you've done. I understand, but I don't forgive you."

I nodded. That was fair, it was all I needed to hear.

"To be brutally honest, I don't want to do this with you because I know it's just going to end in disaster." I flinched a little but kept a straight face.