oneshots + imagines 𝜗𝜚˚

⤷ insecure

main character: female [ y/n ]

tw: language, insecurities

a/n: gta carl 💔💔

....

He's so jealous, I just don't understand it.

I've been with him for almost a year and a half and he can't handle me hanging out with any other guy on a friendly basis? Doesn't he trust me enough by now?

All it took was for him to see one of his friends and I grabbing a quick coffee together for a much-needed catch-up, and he's off his rocker. Calling me, texting me, telling me he doesn't want me around him anymore.

I'm so over this.

Why? 

This happens every time, why?

We're in the living room of our shared home, my boyfriend is sitting on the couch with his head down as I stand and confront him about it, upset and unhappy.

I can't believe I'm having a heated argument at midnight, while it's pouring rain outside. This shit is straight out of a romance novel.

"If you don't want me around him, why is it okay for you to be around Tati, huh?' I say angrily.

"Y/N, you know that's different." I look at him. "No, it's not. It's the same thing and you know it."

"She's different, she's coach's daughter. I have to interact with her and hang out. And she's obsessed with me, there's nothing I can do about that."

"You can chill the fuck out with being late coming home every practice because you stick around on the court and talk to her for an extra 30 minutes," I argue.

"I can't, though. That's the thing. Baby, please don't mind me hanging out with her, I have to. Coach is always watching us."

Anger envelops me. 

So many excuses.

"So you won't mind if I go hang out with Jae sometime? He's pretty cute. Muscular, too. He's tall, I heard he can cook. He has a nice smile. Actually, he's hella nice himself. I should talk to him more often." 

My boyfriend's head jerks up. 

His gorgeous face drops more with every word I speak.

My heart clenches, but I'm so beyond furious I keep going. "You know, he invited me over to chill yesterday, too. Maybe I'll go with him next time he asks."

"Baby, I-" His voice cracks as he looks at me with his big brown eyes that I love so much.

"Don't baby me now. Save that for when you're trying to get me back." I say, hinting that I might be leaving.

"N- No, please, baby I swear-"

"NO. I don't get it, don't you trust me-" The hurricane of emotions that I've buried with my overwhelming fury starts to unravel. I can't finish my sentence, I break down and sob. 

Within seconds, he stands and wraps me in a huge, warm embrace that only makes me cry harder. He gently pulls me into his lap, and when I struggle to get off, he sets me next to him, his arms still wrapped around me.

I grip the edges of his soft hoodie and inhale his cologne. Tears keep falling down my face.

"Baby I'm so, so sorry. Please don't cry, you'll make me cry too-"

"I hate you," I cry into his chest, and in this moment, I wish I wasn't as deeply in love with this boy as I am right now.

"Please don't say that," he mumbles sadly, wrapping me tighter. "I love you so much." Against my will, I crawl into his lap like a baby.  That's when I feel his own tears on my shoulder and hear him sniff quietly. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I trust you, baby, I'm the problem here. I'm just an- an insecure kid who's scared of what better and more attractive guys have to offer," he sadly tells me, tears falling down his cheeks. "I- I don't want to lose you, y- you're the love of my life and you could do so much better than me. I'm just so-" he takes a shaky breath and cups my face, pulling me gently away from his chest. 

"I'm so scared. I'm terrified. Do you know how it feels to know that the girl you love with all your heart is going to finally realize that she's honestly, truly, just so out of your league?" He hiccups, and now he's sobbing. 

"I'm afraid, baby. So afraid. I trust you, I just don't trust myself. What if I fuck up and you realize how terrible of a boyfriend I am and-"

I cut him off. "No one's taking me from you. No one. You're the one for me, baby."

I lean in, taking in his beauty. His long eyelashes, perfect nose, full lips, fluffy, chocolate-brown locks, and gorgeous cocoa eyes. Even his broken-sounding voice, his tired eye bags, and teary cheeks. And yet he's still the most handsome boy in the world- nothing could make me change my mind. 

I realize how insecure he is, just how low he thinks of himself.

And slowly, it all starts to click.

Why he doesn't post his face on any social media. Why he never sends me pictures and has an excuse every time I ask. Why he doesn't have any mirrors in his room, why he never seems to believe me when I give him compliments. Why he always covers his face with his hands when anybody tries to take a picture of him.

I understand it now.

I also see how genuinely scared the thought of losing me makes him. 

Does he really think I would leave him for someone more attractive?

"I-it just makes me even more terrified to lose you, please, baby. I don't want you to leave me, y- you know if you asked for the moon, I would give it to you. Even if I'm not the best looking, I p- promise I l- love you more than any-" 

He's rambling, tears streaming down his cheeks, his hands shaking over mine.

"Hey," I say to him tearfully but sincerely. "You are the most perfect, funny, kind, sweet, sexy, talented, beautiful person I know. Inside and out. No one could take me away from you. I just want you to see that, baby. Why can't you see how amazing you are?" 

My tears that have paused begin again. I bury my face in his arms.

And just like that, he's gripping me tightly and sobbing into the crook of my neck. I cry with him, wondering what I did to deserve such a wonderful partner. How lucky am I to have him? A handsome, successful, sweet boyfriend and the most important thing in my life, crying about how he never wants to lose me? 

I love him so much it's crazy.

I sit on his lap, in his embrace, crying, and think to myself, I would do anything for this boy.

Eventually, the tears stop and our breathing evens. His arms are still wrapped around me, I'm in his lap. I press a small kiss to his reclined neck. "Baby?"

He's fallen asleep, still holding me.

I snuggle further into his warmth, and I fade off into sleep listening to the rain hitting the roof and his slow, even breaths.