The rest of summer break isn’t exactly relaxing. It mostly consists of going to work, sorting things out with my landlord because Harry officially lives here and trying to help Harry to get a place at university.
He decided he wants to try starting to study at the start of September. I’m so incredibly proud of him.
It’s nice, imagining us walking to uni, buying some breakfast at the bakery for both of us, coming home together.
Harry usually leaves so early I don’t even see him in the morning anymore while I come home so late that we’re both so tired already that we only watch some TV before getting into bed.
It’s nice, everything still is perfect but it sucks, not being able to be around him as much as I’d like.
After two weeks of constantly working, earning enough money before going back to studying on Monday, I’m extremely exhausted. It’s Saturday today and tomorrow will be my last completely free day before I’ll have to go back.
I come home tired, slipping out of my shoes and wanting to sleep pretty much immediately.
Harry’s waiting in the kitchen, hair damp from having showered earlier, a big pot of tomato soup standing in the middle of the table, next to a bowl of salad.
I walk in and hug him tightly, lifting my head slightly so I can kiss him for a few seconds before pulling away again. “Thank you, baby. Really need some good food, I’m so fucking exhausted.”
He ruffles through my hair once and kisses the top of my hair. “Thought so. You really deserve it, been working way too much those past weeks, Lou.”
I nod because I know it was a bit much but I really, really need the money.
“I’m just suggesting”, he says, carefully as we sit down, “That you maybe take your father’s money. Not just like that. That you call him sometime, talk about everything?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to.”
“Louis”, he says while loading some salad onto my plate, “Listen to me, honey. Everyone either gets supported from parents or the country. Your mother doesn’t have much to give to you and you’re earning everything else by yourself. Babe, it can’t go on like that.”
I shrug. Shrug again, feel my eyes burning. It’s been a lot, I admit it, it always has. Having to earn so much by myself when others get so much from their parents.
The whole situation with my father didn’t make it better. It wasn’t just being exhausted from work, it also always was having to think about sending him the money back, having it on my mind constantly.
“Babe”, he whispers and then he’s there, wrapping his arms around me ever so tightly, pressing his lips to my forehead and I’m okay again.
I let myself cry about it for a bit before climbing onto his lap and laying my head to his chest because the regular beats of his heart relax me.
“Is okay. Shouldn’t have brought it up. Sorry, Lou. It’s fine.”
I nod. “You’re probably right. I will someday, yeah? Just give me time.”
“Louis”, he says, combing through my hair, “You don’t have to at all, this is not about me. But if you feel like doing it, I’ll be there for you throughout it, yeah?”
I nod and smile before he reaches over the table to place his bowl and glass on mine side of the table so our shoulders stay pressed together during the meal.
I love him. It’s a thought that’s been on my mind for a few days now. It came into my head when we laid in bed, me spooning him, his breath getting quieter as he drifted of to sleep and now it’s clinging to my head so it’s there all the time.
It’s love.
“Louis?”, Harry then says, carefully, making it sound like a question, “Can I ask you something? Because, I’ve really thought about this a lot and I tried to make out what your answer would be but the longer I overthink it, the more insecure I get and just-“
“Baby, stop”, I interrupt him, “Just ask and it’ll be fine.”
“Do you wanna make this official?”, he asks, blurting it out, staring into his empty bowl. “Boyfriends, I mean.”
“Oh”, I make and shit, do I sound stupid.
“It’s too early, isn’t it? I thought so. I shouldn’t have asked you yet, you’re not ready oh god, I get attached way too fast, just forget it, okay?”
“Harry”, I say, my mind spinning, still not processing anything, “Stop ranting. Yes, that’s a really good idea. Of course I want to be boyfriends.”
He blushes, smiles, nods and moves his chair so our knees are touching before kissing me. “Cool.”
I laugh and slap his knee softly, forgetting about how he reacted the first time. “Oh, sorry”, I quickly say.
“Is fine. I trust you, Louis. I lo-, I really like you.”
I blush, deeply, before realizing what he said, trying to process it while staring at him.
“What?”, he asks, clearly aware of what he nearly said.
“Did you want to say that you loved me?”
He shakes his head quickly. “No.” He laughs awkwardly, “Not at all. That’d be stupid, you must have misheard. I don’t love you, it’s way too early for that, you can’t love someone after such a short time.”
“Oh”, is all I say, shrugging, “Unfortunate.”
“Why?”, he asks, wiggling his foot nervously, not looking at me.
“Because I was hoping you wanted to say that.”
“Really?” His face lights up a little bit now and he smiles insecurely, “You don’t think that’d be weird?”
“I think it’d be rather nice.”
And then he lifts me up, once again, throws me down onto the couch and kisses me, kisses my lips and my nose and my forehead. “Then I’ll say it?”
I nod, pecking his lips. “Please.”
“I love you.”
I smile, ever so happy. No one ever told me that while really meaning it. He means it, I see it in his eyes. He really, actually means it.
“Stop staring and say it back, idiot.”
I laugh. “Maybe I don’t want to say it back.”
He boxes my arm once, glaring at me. “Lewis. Say. It. Back. Now.”
I laugh and nod. “I love you too, Harry. I really do.”
He chuckles happily, his eyes glowing and nuzzles his face up into my neck. “I never told that anyone.”
“I did, once. It felt nothing like this. I didn’t really think about it because this is love. I think this is what it feels like.”
He nods. “If feels like stargazing.”
“Like diving into cold water.”
“Like trying to find shapes in clouds.”
“Like drinking hot tea on a winter day.”
“I really love you.”
“I really love you, too.”
~~~
♡
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scarred wings (l.s.)
FanfictionLouis studies teaching at university. On his way there, he passes a homeless boy every morning. Harry has scars, they can't always be seen. Some are covered by the dark ink on his skin. Louis really likes Harry's butterfly tattoo.
