Ashes to Ashes

Low-flying panic attack part 1

          Hello welcome to part two !!

        Lydia walks down the hallway, looking over her shoulder slightly, she walks up to the wing guarded by two men who let her through. Being blackmailed by the woman whom has caused her nothing but pain and agony in the past couple months have done her bidding in spite of her friends being angry with her for doing so. More so angry at the fact she won't tell them why. Even Musa can't read her thoughts. Her family having mind fairies pay off. She broke things off with Riven, seeing as it's risky to stay with him, that and the fact Rosalind holds him over her head, if she so much as makes a move to tell the kingdoms her true purpose for being here, she'd kill Riven like she'd killed Dowling.

She sees the missing students on the stretcher, looking away before she sees Rosalind. "I've got the books you wanted from the Royal Archives, they're locked away in your office." Lydia says while Rosalind nods her head. "Knowledge is power." Rosalind says while Lydia's eyes glow her orangey hue. "Yes and the fact you're never satisfied with the power you have, you wish to rule over everything and everyone. Even power has its limits and it's only a matter of time before all the power you take catches up with you." I reply before I feel the pain all over my body. My back arches slightly backwards and my muscles tense. I try to take a breath but it's as if I can't catch it. "You're tongue of yours will get you in a lot of trouble, I should just cut it out." With that she releases me and I gasp still feeling the aftershocks from her torment. "You can hurt me all you want, torture me. You may have me under lock and key, but the truth will come out even if you kill me, even if you kill Riven or anyone else." I shutter out before I'm walking out and down the dark corridor back to the commons. Seeing Riven and Beatrix I turn continuing on down the hallway and I feel his eyes on my back.

"She of all people has Rosalind's trust, she lets her into the forbidden wing, she's in on all the secrets. I've been in her circle longer it isn't fair." Beatrix tells Riven and he glances at her before wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "It's okay soon you'll be apart of it too." Riven replies before glancing back down the way Lydia left.

Lydia heads back to her dorm ignoring the girls who give her glances as she shuts the door behind her. She closes her eyes taking in a deep breath. Letting it out her eyes open and she's slipping off her shoes getting into bed. It's all she seems to do nowadays. Barely eating, barely sleeping, barely existing. At first it concerned her friends in the short months after their return from break. They noticed the change after two weeks. The following of Rosalind, the return of Andreas. Sky and her speak more and more than they ever did. Andreas was like a father to her. Seeing him standing there on the grounds has her and Sky angry. Sky and her train more and more. They talk about anything and everything. He tried to get her to open up about why she's one of Rosalind's followers and she shuts down again. She wants to tell him, that's her best friend after all but the fear of something bad happening to him holds her back.

Riven tried talking to her many times, wondering why she decided to break things off after everything was going so well, finally for them. She remembers looking him in the face and lying to him. "I don't see myself being with you forever to make it easier. I'll end this now before I allow myself to dig deeper into something that will never truly be." She replies but the shake in her voice lets him know otherwise. "Just tell me please." "If I tell you you'll end up dead." With that I turn away, leaving quickly down the corridor. Now I avoid him like the plague. I see him, Dane, and Beatrix are a thing. It hurts but it's something I chose for myself. Crying I cover myself up with my blanket. Covering my mouth, I hope it hides the sorrowful sobs that leave my lips. "For his safety." I tell myself in my head over and over again before I feel a dip in the bed uncovering myself quickly I see Musa and she smiles softly. "You had a slip up, I was able to see enough and now I know, but your secret is safe with me. It will work itself out come out of your room and socialize with us. I have your back." Musa says while I sit up hugging her. "I know emotions can be hard for you sometimes and I know you might be angry with me. In order for this to go our way, we have to keep this between us. She may be playing a game of chess and I one of her pawns, but I'm playing a game of my own. I may not survive but if it stops her my own sacrifice will be worth it." I say while drying my eyes with my sweater sleeve. "No think of the positives, you don't think that way as if you've already given up." Musa says while I look at her with a sad smile. "In the end, I'm going to lose a lot of people that I love. I'd rather write the wrongs I've been brought into, no matter the circumstances." I say before I get up going into my hidden places in my drawers bringing out a bundle of letters wrapped in twine with everyone's names I care about on them. "When the time is right I want you to give everyone these." I say while she looks at them before shaking her head. "If those are your goodbye letters, I won't hold onto them, you're not saying goodbye." She says while I smile before handing them back over to her again. "In case, you and Sam hide them in a safe place no one will find them."

"For you of course."

"Thank you Musa, I guess I can come out for a bit."

With that Musa smiles at me before tucking the letters in her bag.

"I'll text Sam and we'll hide them later, the girls miss you especially Bloom."