Ashes to Ashes

Low-flying panic attack part 2

         "What do you mean Silva is being transferred?!" I whisper harshly to Sky as he drags me down the corridor to a more private setting. "You should eat more Lydia you are looking frail." Sky retorts and I roll my eyes. "I eat enough, don't change the subject Sky why am I the last to know this ? I found out from Bloom, also why haven't you you know..." trailing off I make a circle with one hand and use my pointer finger to stick inside the hole I made before looking back at him. "Not the time, they plan on breaking him free." He says while I nod. "You're not gonna report this to Rosalind now are you ?" Sky asks while I shake my head. "If anything I'll keep her busy." I reply while he smiles at me. "Anywho Sky I'll be going now." With that i spin on my heal only to bump into someone. "Sorry, sorry." I mutter not looking up while grabbing my things before I stand up seeing Riven. Not saying anything I dodge him and walk down the hallway. Feeling myself get grabbed and pulled into an empty classroom, Riven is shutting the door locking it before turning back to me. "Umm...why are you doing this exactly ? We haven't talked in weeks so why try and have a secret meeting now, you know Beatrix and Dane will freak if they somehow....catch...us." Riven walks up to me with a purpose causing me to trail off from my rant. "I know I've been with them but it's a nice distraction from you hurting me, I don't care for them, we both know the one person I truly care for is you." Riven says and my heart picks up it's pace and I feel myself shutting down. "Were you not listening to me the first time, you, I, can end up getting you killed it's for your safety, I know you can handle yourself I've seen it, but this, this is the one thing you can't protect yourself from, I'm the buffer, I can keep you safe if I just follow the rules of the game." I say softly while looking at him in the eyes finally. "You're a real piece of work you know that ?" Riven says and I blink at him once, twice, three times before I feel my eyes glowing. "Is it so hard to grasp the concept of I don't want to be the cause of your death if I can help it !!! I, I won't lose someone I care so much about to her I can't, I won't !" I shout causing flames to engulf my hands. Rivens brows narrow and he chuckles at me causing my eyes to blur with angry tears. "If this is about Rosalind I'm not scared of her. I'd fight for you not against you if the roles were reversed." Riven says before he takes a step back when the flames grow hotter before I let them extinguish with a jittery sigh. "Okay Riven, then I guess I'll take on the role of being killed then since you can handle yourself oh so well. If I don't stick by her she'll kill me like she killed...." Trailing off my eyes widen and I feel my heart skipping beats all together as I tug at my hair. "No no no no." I mutter like a prayer under my breath as I back further away from his figure that comes closer and closer to me. "Like who Lydia ? Who did Rosalind Kill, talk to me ?" Riven says and I shake my head feeling a panic attack coming. After months of dealing with this burden, feeling like a sad little girl all over again it all comes to an ugly head. Sinking down to the floor I try to catch my breath. "You can't know, not yet, if it's found out too soon,  my plan will fail." I cry into my hands before my crying stops all together. Looking up I see Sam and Musa who runs up to me with a sad smile. "C'mon Lydia." Musa says and I feel Riven grabbing my hand. "Just give me a moment with her, please." Riven says and Musa looks from me to him before nodding. Stepping back her and Sam retreat back into the wall. "I love you, I'll never stop loving you." Riven says and that makes it hurt even more because once he finds out what I know and that I hid it from him and the school he'll hate me. "You don't mean that Riven." With that I stand up and make my way to the door. Pulling me back he turns me around before kissing me softly. I feel myself giving in and kissing him back. Pulling away he looks at me wiping my tears away. "You may think I don't but you know deep down in that pretty little mind of yours that I do and forever will." With that he walks past me and I sigh watching him leave the room. "It's time." Musa says looking at me. Nodding to her I do a double take. "Time for what ?" I ask following her out of the room. "To break out Silva."

"This is a bad idea, a very bad idea." I mutter following the girls to the brush by the road. "You don't even need me you have bloom." I say while the girls look back to me. "You are one of the powerful fairies at our school, with two elements which is rare, only a handful of fairies have two elements. We need you." Aisha says and I nod while giving a faint smile. "Get down here they come." Terra mutters while we all wait for the right moment. "Aisha now." I whisper while she floods their engine. Getting out we watch as the first part of our plan goes well. "Bloom, Lydia we need a distraction." Terra says while we nod letting our eyes glow we blow up the transport vehicle. "He's on the run let's go." I say while we break off going after Silva.

"Hello Silva." I say softly while he nods and I pull him into a hug. "Are you sure you'll be safe here ?" I ask while he nods before I look over to Sebastian who smiles at me. "Please take care of him." I whisper while he nods and I pull Silva into another hug. "I'll check on you when I can." I say before I leave with the other girls.

"We need to prepare." I say from behind the group which has them stopping and turning back to me. "Prepare for what ?" Bloom asks while I bite my lip before letting out a breath. "War." I say before I walk past them into the school to report to Dowling.

"No ma'am." I repeat for the thousandth time while she stops looking at me. "You're dismissed." I say before turning walking past Beatrix. She looks at me with a soft smile that I return before I stop. "I was awful to you last year, I'm sorry if you make Riven happy then that's okay." I say before continuing on down the hall. Not going back to my dorm I head to the greenhouse to see Sam. Stopping next to him I help him collect herbs for classes and or projects in silence. "I never turn down help but it's rare for you to come in here, what's troubling you ?" Sam asks while I stop what I'm doing looking at him. "I need to know if their's a plant or something to help save my memories." I ask while he looks at me before turning away to go somewhere in the greenhouse. Coming back with a small white flower he sets it on the table. "This is a rare flower that's native to your world. It's.."

"Carvora Nivea." I reply while Sam nods. "When dried out and made into a tea, it strengthens your mind for memories you wish to hold onto but it's temporary so only drink it when you need it. Like for an exam when your studying I know I'm smart but the tea helps. "I'll dry out the flower for you it will take a couple of days." Sam says and I nod before thanking him handing him a stone that's worth many moons. "This stone can be saved for when you need it most."

"And when will I need it ?" Sam jokes while I begin to walk away. "You'll know, Sam." I say before I leave with a smile on my face. The memory from that night is strong but the more Rosalind dabbles in my mind, the more I feel it slipping and with the knowledge I have, I know it's only a matter of time before it's gone for good and the only leg up I have is gone forever and she wins.