The Price Of A Sinner

Chapter 15

Ilang linggo at buwan pa ang lumipas, ganoon pa rin ang sitwasyon sa pagitan namin ni Dos. Walang nagbago. Hindi pa rin niya inaamin sa akin ang tungkol sa fiancée niya, at kagaya ng dati, hinayaan ko na lang. After all, we were happy when we were together. We fulfilled each other's needs in ways that made the rest of the world feel irrelevant.

But everything I did came with a price... a distance from my friends.

Palagi silang busy sa tuwing aayain ko silang mag-inuman sa bar ko kagaya noon. Noong una, naiintindihan ko. Lahat naman kami may kaniya-kaniyang buhay. Pero habang lumilipas ang mga buwan at patuloy nilang pag-iwas, doon ko na naramdaman ang pagbabago. Siguro ito ang epekto ng matinding pagtatalo namin noon, isang distansyang hindi ko alam kung kailan pa mabubura. Kaya't hinayaan ko muna. Umaasa akong darating ang araw na maiintindihan nila ako. Sana nga...

"Saan ka sa Christmas?" I asked Dos one lazy afternoon. We were both lying in bed at a hotel in Tagaytay, wrapped in nothing but the warmth of the comforter and each other's presence.

"Hmm... Hindi pa namin napag-uusapan ng family ko. Why?" he murmured, his fingers absentmindedly twirling a strand of my hair.

"If you don't have plans, maybe we can make one together. What do you think?"

"Let's see. I'll call you if I'm free," he replied casually.

"Okay!" I smiled, pretending that was enough.

We had been here for two days already. He called out of the blue, saying he wanted to unwind in Tagaytay with me. And of course, I didn't even think twice. Just the thought of spending more time with him made my heart flutter.

Christmas was coming soon, and deep down I knew my friends and I would never push through with our plans. In a month, Mili and Dos would be getting married.

"Dos," tawag ko habang magkatabi kaming nanonood ng movie.

"Hmmm?" sagot niya, hindi inaalis ang tingin sa TV.

Pareho kaming nakaupo sa sofa, may hawak na chips, at nakataas pa ang mga paa sa center table. Sandaling katahimikan bago ko binitiwan ang tanong na ilang beses ko nang gustong itanong.

"Sa tingin mo, hanggang kailan tayo tatagal? I mean, 'yong ganito nating relasyon?"

Doon lang siya lumingon sa akin.

"Hangga't masaya pa tayong dalawa. Bakit? Hindi ka na ba masaya kasama ako?"

"Ha? Siyempre masaya!" mabilis kong sagot, pero may kaba sa dibdib ko. "Paano kung pareho pa tayong masaya... pero kailangan mo akong iwan?" I saw his body stiffen at my words.

"B-Bakit kita iiwan?" he asked, almost absentmindedly.

"Because you have to? I don't know. I'm just saying... what if it happens, what will you do?"

"You?" he shot back.

"What about me?"

"You. Do you want to let me go?"

If only you knew... letting you go was never part of the plan.

"No, of course not!" I replied, shaking my head. He nodded slowly, as if something had just clicked in his mind.

"But... It still depends on the situation. Maybe you'll understand me," he said seriously.

"Would you understand me too if I refused to let you go, even if you wanted me to?" I asked quietly. His brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

We stared at each other for several seconds, as if waiting for the other to break the silence.

"Wala! Forget it. Mas'yado tayong seryoso. Let's just enjoy the movie kasi uuwi na tayo mamaya." Tumawa pa ako nang bahagya para itago ang kaba sa loob ko.

Tango lang ang isinagot niya, pero kita ko sa mga mata niyang may tanong na hindi niya mabigkas.

Tahimik naming tinapos ang pelikula. Akala ko ay uuwi kaming tahimik pa rin, pero unti-unti ring nagbago ang mood niya kalaunan.

"Your phone's been ringing for a while now. Aren't you going to answer it?" I asked as I brushed my hair. We were both getting ready to check out, but his phone hadn't stopped buzzing.

"We're leaving soon anyway. It's just Daniel," he shrugged.

I didn't press further.

Nang matapos kaming mag-ayos, siya na ang nagdala ng bag naming dalawa. Hinapit niya ako palapit sa kaniya habang naghihintay kami sa pagbukas ng elevator. Pag-angat ng tingin ko, seryoso ang mga mata niyang nakatitig sa akin. Bumaba ang ulo niya at bumulong.

"Baka ma-snatch ka ng kung sino," bulong niya, dahilan para matawa ako.

"Tss. Walang maglalakas-loob na gawin 'yon kapag ikaw ang kasama ko."

"Good then," he said with a smirk.

The moment we stepped inside the elevator, he suddenly pinned me against the wall and kissed me. Our bags dropped to the floor as his hands roamed my body. I was wearing a dress, so it didn't take long before his touch found my skin.

"Dos, baka biglang magbukas ang elevator!" I hissed between kisses, as his lips trailed down my jawline.

"Hindi 'yan," he whispered, capturing my lips again.

Just as I closed my eyes, the elevator dinged... it's ground floor. But even then, he didn't stop kissing me.

"Tara na," I said, laughing as I pushed him away gently and stepped out. He picked up our bags before following me out.

"Tss. We should've extended for five days," he grumbled as we walked toward the parking area, his arm still around my waist.

"Grabe ka! We still have work, remember?"

"I know, I know..." he replied lazily.

Binuksan niya ang pinto ng kotse at inalalayan akong sumakay. Nakangiti akong nakatingin sa kaniya hanggang sa bigla siyang natigilan habang papunta sa driver's seat.

Tinted ang mga bintana ng kotse kaya hindi makikita ang nasa loob. Pero kitang-kita ko ang dahilan kung bakit siya natigilan. Nandoon siya — ang taong pinipilit kong kalimutan pero palaging nandyan.

Tumingin siya kay Dos, tapos sa direksyon ko. Paulit-ulit. Para bang pilit niyang kinukumpirma kung tama ba ang nakikita niya.

A rush of emotions surged inside me... fear, anxiety, excitement... and a flicker of anger.

I was scared of what would happen once Dos knew everything. I was terrified that this might be the end of us. But I was also thrilled because this meant I would see her hurt again, and that gave me a strange sense of satisfaction. And beneath it all, there was anger. Because in the end... I knew I might still lose.

Lumalaban ako sa isang laban na ako lang ang nakakaalam. Nagsimula ako ng isang kompetisyong walang ibang lumalahok kundi ako lang.

Pero nandito na ako. Nasimulan ko na ito. At gusto kong iparamdam sa kaniya kung gaano kasakit ang mga sugat na iniwan niya mula nang dumating siya sa buhay namin.

Hindi ko marinig ang mga sigawan nila mula sa loob ng kotse. Paulit-ulit niyang tinatangkang itulak si Dos para makita kung sino ang nasa loob. I could see the rage on her face, the pain in her tear-filled eyes.

Ilang beses akong napabuntong-hininga bago ko napagdesisyunang harapin siya. Bumagal ang bawat segundo habang binubuksan ko ang pinto ng kotse.

At sa sandaling lumabas ako, natigilan silang dalawa.

Ang galit na galit na ekspresyon sa mukha ni Mili ay unti-unting napalitan ng pagtataka, ng gulat, ng sakit. Para bang hindi niya kayang unawain kung bakit ang babaeng nakita niyang lumabas ng hotel kasama ng kaniyang fiancé ay...

...ang kapatid niyang matagal nang may galit sa kaniya.

"M-Mifi..." basag ang boses niyang sambit.

"Mili..." mahina kong sagot, habang ang mundo ay tila tumigil sa pagitan naming dalawa.