The Price Of A Sinner

Epilogue

Every pain serves a purpose. It teaches you a lesson, molds your strength, and eventually shapes you into a better version of yourself.

When you feel like falling, remember why you started in the first place. Because giving up will never be the best option.

Maraming beses akong sinubok ng panahon, at sa bawat pagsubok na iyon, gusto ko na lamang bumitiw. Because it felt like life was never meant for me. I wasn't happy. I wasn't loved. I wasn't accepted for who I was.

But then I realized...why did God allow all of this to happen to me? Does He see me as brave? Does He know that I can overcome this?

Yes. I will. And I can.

The past years have never been easy. I kept fighting for my life. And with every battle I faced, I always asked myself: Was it all worth it? Have I become a better person? Have I reached the life that was meant for me? Am I truly happy?

Naupo ako sa manipis na damuhan, marahan kong ibinaba ang dala kong bulaklak at sinindihan ang kandila. Hinaplos ko ang bawat letra na nakaukit sa ibabaw ng puntod.

I missed you...

A small smile formed on my lips as my eyes welled up with tears, memories of you flooding back into my heart.

"Thank you sa pagiging mabuting ina... alam mo kung gaano kita kamahal."

Unti-unting nagtuluan ang luha sa aking mga pisngi habang nakatitig ako sa pangalan nya.

"Hindi kita masisisi... at hindi rin kita pwedeng sisihin. Dahil kahit ano pa man ang nangyari, hindi mo pa rin naman ako pinabayaan."

Living has always been a challenge. Every chapter of my life came with explosions of its own. And the loudest one was the day I woke up in the hospital.

"A-ano 'yon, Mom?" mahina kong tanong habang nakatingin sa umiiyak kong ina.

"H-hindi ako... ang t-tunay mong ina," she whispered between sobs. I heard everyone in the room gasp. As for me, I couldn't process the words fast enough.

Kagigising ko lang mula sa mahabang pagkakatulog... at ito agad ang bungad sa akin.

Ano na naman 'to?

"You could've just told me you didn't want me. You don't have to make up stories—"

"Si Lora..." putol ni Mommy sa sinasabi ko.

Natigilan ako. Parang nanikip ang dibdib ko sa bawat salitang kasunod.

"S-si Lora ang totoo mong ina, Mifi..."

Hindi ko alam kung may puwang pa ba sa dibdib ko para sa isa pang pasabog.

"P-paanong nangyari na si Yaya Lora?" halos pabulong kong tanong habang pinupunasan ni Mommy ang kanyang luha.

"Your dad and I couldn't conceive because of my condition. So we decided to find someone who could carry a child for us. Lora... she agreed, in exchange for help for her sick mother in the hospital. Isang gabi lang silang magkasama ng daddy mo — isang gabing kailangang makabuo. Nabuo ka sa gabing iyon."

"Pinasya naming manatili muna si Lora sa amin habang nagbubuntis para maalagaan siya... at ikaw. Pero nang maipanganak ka na, ayaw na niyang umalis. She said she wouldn't take you away from us, but she wanted to stay and see you grow up... even if it meant working as your nanny. That's why she's been with you since you were a baby."

Sa haba ng kuwento ni Mommy, iisa lang ang tumatak sa isip ko: sayang.

Sayang at hindi ko agad nalaman. Sayang ang mga araw na sana'y inalagaan ko siya, sana'y nalabanan namin ng magkasama ang kanyang sakit.