Dark Desire

Chapter 36

When the call had abruptly ended, followed by that scream—Eran's scream—I hadn't hesitated. My mind raced with horrific images, each one worse than the last. What if he was hurt? What if someone had gotten to him? The thought was unbearable. So, I'd grabbed my keys and driven like a madwoman, not caring about the speed limits, not caring about anything except getting to him.

Now, standing in his doorway, seeing him whole, unharmed made a wave of relief to wash through me but the utter fear had me as its hostage for so long that the relief started to get replaced by something else. I wanted to collapse into his arms and let him reassure me that everything was okay, that he was okay. But there was also this anger boiling inside me—anger at him for scaring me like that, for not thinking about how I would feel.

He pulled me into his arms without a word, and for a moment, I let myself melt into his embrace. The warmth of his body against mine, the steady beat of his heart, it all soothed the frayed edges of my nerves. I clung to him, my fingers twisting into the fabric of his t-shirt, my body shaking uncontrollably as I sobbed into his chest. The world outside faded into nothingness; all that existed was him and the overwhelming relief that he was safe.

But even as he held me, I couldn't stop the thoughts that whirled in my head, the anger that was rapidly building beneath the surface. He didn't understand what he'd put me through, the sheer terror that had driven me to his door. I had never felt so vulnerable, so utterly terrified. And now that the fear was starting to subside, that anger surged forward like a tidal wave.

I could feel him trying to comfort me, patting my back, whispering soothing words, but they did nothing to quell the storm inside me. I was grateful that his friends had the decency to leave us alone, that they didn't bombard me with questions. I wouldn't have been able to handle that—not when I was still on the verge of losing it completely.

He kept his hold on me, his hands gentle as they smoothed over my hair, trying to calm me down. But it wasn't enough. The fear was still there, coiled around my heart, and it was too close, too suffocating. I needed space to breathe, to think, but he wouldn't let go, and that only fueled my anger further.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I pushed him away with a sudden, desperate force, needing to put distance between us. I watched as he stumbled back, his eyes wide with shock and hurt as he landed on the ground. For a split second, I felt a pang of guilt, but it was drowned out by the overwhelming fury that had taken over me.

He looked up at me, and I could see the confusion in his eyes, the fear. But I was beyond caring about how he felt in that moment. My own emotions were spiraling out of control, a chaotic storm of fear, anger, and something I couldn't even name. My breath came in harsh, ragged gasps as I glared down at him, my chest heaving with the effort to contain everything I was feeling.

"Why did you hang up on me? And why did you scream?" My voice was low, laced with barely restrained anger. I could feel the heat of it burning in my chest, my throat. I was furious, but more than that, I was scared—terrified that something had happened to him, and he didn't even seem to care.

He got to his feet, and I could see the fear in his eyes, the way he hesitated before reaching out to me again. "R..Rose?" he stammered, clearly trying to understand what was happening, why I was so upset. But his confusion only made me angrier.

I wanted to scream at him, to make him understand what he had put me through, but the words got caught in my throat. Instead, I glared at him, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. I could see him trying to piece together what was going on, trying to figure out why I was so worked up, but he was missing the point entirely.

"Why did you scream, Eran?" I demanded again, my voice shaking with the effort to keep from completely losing it. "Do you have any idea what went through my mind when I heard that? I thought—" My voice broke, and I had to look away, unable to meet his eyes as I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over again.

"I was worried," I finally said, the words barely more than a whisper. They felt weak, insignificant, compared to the storm that was raging inside me. But it was the truth, the only thing that mattered in that moment. I had been worried—sick with worry, sick with fear—and he didn't even seem to realize how much that had affected me.

I looked at him then, really looked at him, and saw the dawning realization on his face. He was starting to understand, to grasp the depth of my fear. But it was too little, too late. The damage had already been done, and I wasn't sure if I could just brush it off like nothing had happened.

He tried to reassure me, to joke about it, but it fell flat. His attempts to lighten the situation only made me angrier. This wasn't something to joke about. This was serious—more serious than he seemed to realize.

"Umm, yeah, as you can clearly see, I'm standing on my own feet and I'm doing perfectly fine," he said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. It was his way of trying to downplay the situation, to make it seem like I was overreacting. But it only made me feel more isolated, more misunderstood..