Dark Desire

Chapter 13

Rose's POV
Lifeless grey eyes stare back at me as tears fill my eyes. He lied on my laps as I watched the remnants of his life strip away from his beautiful innocent eyes. The sight of the vivid crimson staining my palms sent a shiver to run down my spines. The ticking of the still warm flesh made  my stomach churn as a wave of nausea hit me. Blood trickled down his wrist as his inanimate eyes stared at me just like always. The only difference was that his once vibrant windows to the soul seemed deprived of this world's colours now.

The irises, once filled with color and depth, now appear dull and cloudy, like faded memories of the vibrant life they once beheld. The pupils, once responsive to light and shadow, now remain dilated and numb, frozen for good. These set of eyes will never see the light of day, will never be able to witness the mesmerising sight of the silvery moon in the dark night sky. They will never lit up while watching me approach. The spark is gone. I killed the spark. With my own hands, the hands he once held while dreaming of a future we were supposed to have, only in his head. Not mine. 

Breath was completely knocked off my lungs as those rigid bloody hands wrapped around my neck, pushing me on to the concrete floor. Pain pulsated behind my skull as those lifeless eyes came back to life, glaring at me, firing daggers of grief and betrayal. His hands applied more pressure as my throat tightened, constricting like a serpent's coil, making it difficult to swallow or speak, as if my words themselves are trapped in a cage of guilt and regression. 

I felt an excruciatingly heavy and suffocating weight pressing down on my chest. My eyes shot open as I jolted awake jumping up from my bed, my knees giving up immediately from the sudden impact. My body drenched in cold sweat as I fell right on the floor with a fleeting pain shooting up through my spine. Looking around I felt as if shadows were looming ominously, twisting into grotesque shapes that were tormenting my vulnerable state. 

I clutched my shirt in a fist over my chest only to feel my heart racing like a wild stallion each beat echoing the drumming of the mounting terror.  No matter how hard i try, no matter what I do, I can never desert my horrifying past. It chases me, and i know it will rain hell for me in this very earth. How can I ever dream of a normal life with this haunting me every single second of my miserable existence? How can I want a happy life with my friends and family? I don't deserve any of these in this birth.

I stood up with my knees trembling like winter leaves rattling. I looked over to find Veronica fast asleep with peace spread throughout her beautiful face. Her brown hair spilled like silk liquid over the violet pillow case. A fleeting feeling of jealousy washed through me as I longed for the same exact sanity she felt in her sleep. 

My nights resigned from peace years ago and as a result, I can never sleep soundly. Veronica told me how I toss and turn the whole night even though I don't know what am I seeing in my dreams. I do dream. I dream of smiling grey eyes staring at me, with flowers blooming around us and the very next second the stares turn into glares and the flowers change into fading black clouds and smoke choking me and the next thing I know is I'm gasping for air and my body bathed in restless sweat.

My phone dinged with a text as my gaze shot towards the name on the screen. It was Eran. The urge of running to his arms and forget all the chaos in my life for once, washed through me. I held the phone in my hands with shaky fingers going through our texts. 

"Oh okay, not going to disturb you anymore" 

The text read. A strange smile stretched across my worried face. He is mad at me because I spoke to him rudely yesterday. I chose to ignore him last night, well tried to feed him his own medicine and i guess the taste was too bitter to make him react like that. I sighed and placed my phone on the charge. I will persuade him when he wakes up, since he was out with his friends last night, he is going to take forever to wake up. Judging with the way I speak with him everyday now, I know he hates to be texted at morning. He is not a very morning person, and my mornings are everything i got for me.