In The Maze

Chapter sixteen (Y/N)

This chapter has a lot of fluff between Newt and (Y/N) to further emphasize their respect/love for each other. There's mentions of past self harm, but aren't graphic. I've hinted to a few things that I've changed plot wise when it comes to what WICKED did to (Y/N) and Newt and eventually Thomas as well. More will be revealed as the journey progresses!

And please, please, please let me know what you think! I absolutely adore hearing from my readers:)

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I sleep with Newt most nights now. I usually can't stand to be in my room for more than a few minutes or I start to internally freak out, let alone actually sleeping there. Besides storing my belongings and occasionally changing in there, I stay out of my room as much as possible. Because it isn't my room. Not anymore.

The sense of safety and tranquility it held all but vanished after the incident. Instead of providing me a space to breathe it now seemed to suffocate me. Instead of a quiet place for me to think, now, all I hear was his voice and my choppy breathing as I panicked; too terrified to even move. I once cherished my room and now I could barely tolerate being in it. You don't realize what you had until it's gone, I guessed.

Things would improve with time. Of that, I had no doubt. I'll be able to frequent and use my room like I did before and handle physical touch from people other than Newt.

Eventually.

Until then, I was more than content to share a space with Newt and all of my friends were plenty sympathetic, providing me space and time to digest everything that happened and everything that followed. They also understood the side effects I was experiencing and did their best to avoid triggering me. I just needed time and I was grateful to have a family who loved me and wanted nothing more than to help me. I couldn't do this without them.

Especially Newt, who did everything he could to make sure I felt safe and loved. At times when I struggled, he always asked if he could touch me and always makes his presence known so he doesn't scare me. He gives me space when I need it and is so good at reading my body language we don't even need to speak.  It's almost as if he can read my mind. I'm not keen on discussing the details of that night, so our system has been highly beneficial.

No one is privy to the fact that Newt and I stay together at night, let alone share the same bed. To avoid any conflicts or badgering it's best we kept our system a secret. We both have a rising suspicion that Minho knows or at least suspects it, but everyone else is oblivious. Not that it's their business anyway.

Newt always made me feel safe and those feelings have further solidified the longer we've been together. Excluding all of the other thoughtful and impassioned ways he doted on me, him practically ripping my door off its hinges in his haste to save me was a testament to how much he cared for me. As cliche as it might sound, he's my protector and has proven time and time again that I can always rely on him.

When I'm asleep and at my most vulnerable, I know, without a doubt, that Newt will watch over me and protect me. I thought I'd encounter trouble sleeping afterward since I was attacked at night in my sleep, but that wasn't the case. Cuddling with Newt chased my fears and anxieties away, lulling me into a peaceful slumber with his calming aura and his arms around me.

Not long after we started sleeping together consistently, Newt admitted, rather bashfully, that having me nearby helped him sleep better too. That he enjoys holding me and waking up together. The dark circles under his eyes had noticeably diminished since our first night together and he seemed better rested.

I can't describe the giddy feeling I get whenever I'm reminded of how much of a positive impact I've had on Newt's life. Seeing him flourish and shine like the amazing person is. Being a part of his life is such a gift.