Hope

Chapter 11

Hopes POV
"Good morning Hope." My dad said.
"Hi dad." I smiled.
"How did you sleep?" He asked.
"Actually okay.." I sounded surprised, well that's because I was.
"That's good!" He laughed. It's been a week, and I'm starting to actually smile.
"Hey uh-dad I was thinking.. Maybe I could uh- get a job, you know to help with the payment for my felony." I said.
"That's a great idea! Where would
you work?" He asked.
"Maybe the cafeteria, in the hospital." I said.
"I think that will be good for you, it'll keep your mind off things." He said.
"Ya." I said.
.......
I walked to pops office, ready to ask for the job.
"Hey pops, uh can I ask you something?" I asked.
"Course sweet cheeks!" She smiled.
"Can I have a job in the cafe?" I asked nervously.
"Uh, ya. Let me get some forms for you to fill out." She said. Wow, that was easy..or so I thought. These forms were looong! What the hell? Only 10 bucks an hour! I need money.
"Maybe, I could rob a bank to get the 10 grand I owe." I muttered.
"Ya need to work for your money Hope. It'll help you become a better person. Not that I don't think you are a bad person." she said. Oh come on!
"Really, because if I were you, I would've murdered me already." I said laughing.
"Nah, deep inside I know your a good person, and have a truly loving heart." She said. Ya, deep, very deep inside.
"Ya ok. So uh---ok finished with the paper work. When can I start?" I asked.
"Tomorrow if you want, after therapy." she said. I was taken back.
"Wait dad already signed me up for that?" I asked confused.
"No sweetheart, this is therapy for all the cancer kids staying at this hospital." She said. I still hate that word. Cancer.
"Oh? Wait am I taking double therapy?!" I asked, even more confused.
"Kinda, you'll take your personal problems therapy classes on Mondays- Wednesdays. You're dad will sign you up for those classes soon. And your cancer class- Thursdays-Saturdays." She said.
"And when do I work." I looked blank. My busy schedule overwhelmed me. How could I handle all that therapy?
Well, you're gonna have to handle it Hope, because you need it. Thanks brain for thinking such reassuring thoughts.
"You work at nights, since both therapies are during the day..About 10-1. You'll work about 3-8. If you think you can do that..." She finally said. I stared wide eyed.
"Uh ya- no prob." I said.
"Hope, I mean it. Are you really sure about this. Don't back down like you always do.." She looked serious.
" Don't worry doctor Poppy, I'm gonna do it." I smiled, leaving the room. Poppy grabbed my arm, giving me my cafe pass and employment documentaries. Yay, I'm now an employee at the hospital I'm staying at, while I get cured for cancer, and bitchiness. Not to mention the fact my moms in a coma. Ok. great.
........
"Hey, knock knock." Baylinn walked in with a breakfast burrito and a smile.
"What's up, bay!" I said.
"Not much, how ya been?" She asked.
"Good, haven't seen you in a while!" I said.
"Ya well.." She trailed off. I could tell something was wrong, because something wasn't right, she was off today?
"Tell me Baylinn." I stated bluntly.
"It's Tyler.. He uh- he... Um..." She couldn't find the right words.
"Come one spit it out?! What's wrong?" I asked worried sick. What if something really bad happened. Oh gosh, what have I done! I let him slip through my fingers, the boy I loved, and the boy that loved me. The next words that she said... Broke me- into tears. I was a mess now.. I can't deal with hearing these things, and not being able to help. Hope shut up, you've helped enough. I was always kind of 'out of it' when I was with Tyler. I never really told him much either. Im a hypocrite. I told him, that I tell him everything, but that's not even close to true. How could I say that to him. The only person I fully told everything to was Lanny... But Lanny is gone. I have to try to move on. The words made me cringe and remember the first time she told me...
"Tyler attempted suicide again." She said with a blank face. I was still crying into her arms.
"I want him to have higher security!" I shouted.
"They are doing all they can. Believe me it won't happen again." She said.
"Ya until it happens again,and he actually succeeds.." To say I was annoyed was a complete understatement. I was furious. Then pops walked in.
"Hey sweets it's time for therapy. You're late it's 10:15.." She said.
"Ok." I said wiping the tears. There is no point in trying go get out of it, I'm not giving up. I need this. I need to be better. For me, for my family, for Tyler. And with that I left. Took a shower put on some clothes, slipped on my vans, and left to a new location.
"Hello students.. This is Hope. She is joining you guys for therapy!" Poppy said excitedly. Some smiled, some blankly stared. I didn't expect more. Some of these people have had cancer since birth, I'm not judging. And then. I saw him. The kid- I bumped into in the hallway. Oh ya- I was such an asshole to him. He was blankly staring at the wall. I would deep down normally feel sympathy for him, well when my life was 'perfect'. But now I feel empathy for him. I understand the circles under his eyes. The sadness in his smile, his fragile, decaying, almost lifeless body. I sat next to him, hoping I could make conversation.
"Hey-uh I'm Hope. The asshole who ran into you.." I tried cheating him up. He smiled, not a big smile, but enough to give me hope.
"Luke." He stated.
"Nice to meet ya!" I smiled.
"And you." He smiled. Wow, I've never tried this hard to make a friend before. We started talking until all of the sudden something he said pissed me off. We got in this huge argument.
"Oh cry me a river!! Are you kidding me? I would kill for your life. You have a family who loves you, yet you just push them away!" He screams.
"I know what I have done Luke! I'm working on all of that! But don't mention wanting a life like mine. My mom is in a coma, and my ex is in rehab! I'm going through a hell of a lot too!" I screamed smacking him I the face. He looks beyond mad, but starts to cry. Not because it hurt physically, but emotionally. I have know Idea what's happened in his life, but that doesn't give him the right to judge me and my life?!? I grunted 'move' to everyone in my way and left. I have about two hours till I have to work, and I want to punch a wall. And so I did.
"Hope?" Pop asks.
"Get away from me! I don't need you or anyone else? Got that?" I screamed. great back to square one.
"What happened Hope. Tell me now." She sounded blunt.
"He judged me. He doesn't even know me! What the hell!!" I screamed loud.
"Hope, many kids in there are broken. They say things they don't mean. They say things they wish they had. Hope, he's only jealous of what you have." She stated.
"I have nothing." I said.
"Hope, you have everything? Why can't you see that nobody is dead yet? Your mom is getting better! Your ex hasn't succeeded in his tasks, and is getting help! You and your dads relationship is getting stronger! You have a rare, yet mild case of cancer, that is survivable. Think of some of the positives in life, and realize people have it worse than you. Hope, you need help. Giving up, and lashing out is not healthy. The reason you're like this us because the past. I told you to forget about the past. Help yourself. Control yourself, or you will never get better." She said. I didn't know what to say. Everything she said was true. Why do I keep doing this? She sounds like a broken record. I need therapy. And I need to shut the hell up. Because pops right, I still have everything and everyone I love. Ya life has changed, ya it's getting harder, but that's a good thing for me. Because I'm getting stronger.

******
I'm sorry if this is getting repetitive and stuff.. But don't worry! I have a lot in store for you guys in the next couple chapters, a lot will happen! And maybe Hope will change for the better? You'll have to read!