Hope

Chapter 16

Hopes POV.
"Rush! Come on Meletie! Get her to the room." I heard people say, as I was in the hallway, pretending I never went in the room at all.
"What happened?!" I was worried, because they were yelling things at each other.
"Your mom darling-she woke up." He said smiling, but then running to the OR. I acted surprised, even though I was there when she woke up. But I am still extremely emotionally distraught.
"Come on! Get her to OR now!" He yelled racing to the OR. I stood there not knowing what to do.. Should I follow? Should I stay? My legs were practically glued to the floor. At this point they were no where in sight. I went to Poppy's to tell her what happened.
"Poppy..." I started.
"Oh-Hope! How are you darling?" She looked up at me, then back to her magazine. When I didn't answer, she looked up concerned. She stood up, and walked to me, not saying a word.
"My mom...she's aw-aw-a-k....e" I literally barely got that out. She stared at me, with something. I wasn't sure what. Sadness? Happiness? Nothing?blankness? I don't know.
"That's great Hope!" She finally said, her eyes filled with happiness.
"I know, but I don't know how to feel, you know? Scared, happy, scared and happy? It's all so sudden.." I said shaking.
"Hope, calm down. Your mom is awake, and right now that's what matters. You can talk to her, be with her. She has a good survival rate, considering she just woke up from a very severe induced coma. Calm." She said, holding my hands to stop my shaking. I took some deep breaths, and hugged Poppy senseless. I felt refreshed, finally getting somewhere.
"Thank you Pops." I said quietly.
"You're very welcome Hope. Now wait for your mom to come out of emergency operation, awake and happy." She said with a smile. I felt an overwhelming sense of hope.
"I will." And that's what I did. I sat there waiting for her to come out. A surgeon exited, he looked distressed.
"Sir, are you okay?" I asked.
"Uh, are you...Hope Macintosh?" He asked.
"Yes, I am." I said.
"Your mother, she needs a transfusion...now. Where's your dad?" He asked.
"Just let me do it. I have the same blood type." I said as I pulled my shirt sleeve up.
"It isn't just blood. She needs a transfusion of the liver, kidney, and heart.." he said.
"I will give her everything I have." I said desperately.
"Sweetie-" he started.
"No. She's my mom. I wanna give her everything she needs." I said.
"It's hard to have immediate transfusions, plus we can't give her your heart, we have no heart donors right now." he said.
"Why not? I don't care if I die. I am going to give her everything. She. Needs."I said angry.
"I'm sorry, but we can't do this right here, right now." He said.
"Then let's go somewhere in which we can." I said bluntly.
"Okay, uh- let's get your dad." he said.
..........
"Please Dad! I want to give mom my kidney, liver, and heart! This is my decision, she will die without it." I said frantically. Right now I'm not crazy in the head, my mind is clear, spot on. This is what I want.
"Hope, are you crazy? Your mother would never want you to give her your organs, for her to live, and you to die." he said confused.
"Maybe, but I need this for her. It would bring me peace, I want to do something right for a change." I said.
"Hope." My dad said teary eyed.
"We can just take the liver and kidney..and see if she truly needs the heart transfusion." the doctor said.
"Yes please, let me do something please. So we all live." I said calmly.
"Okay, Hope, if this is truly what you want.... I can't stop you." My dad said sadly.
"Dad, don't be sad, I'm not crazy, or psychotic. I truly want to do this for closure, for myself. I've made so many mistakes. I've killed people. I've ruined families lives, including my own, and that ends now." I said. I'm done blaming myself after I do what I need to do. Once I have this closure that I need, I will feel better for myself. This one simple act of kindness will set my demons free. The guilt will be partially gone, not totally, because I know what I've done. But I have to live with that, I created it. It feels right, you know? At least to give her a kidney, maybe a liver? I might as well keep my heart, I just learned how to truly love.
"Hope, you haven't ruined peoples lives, you are very wise. You are really something sweets, keep going." my dad said. I didn't say anything back, I just reflected.
........
"Okay, deep breaths miss Macintosh." The doctor said as he took my bold pressure.
"When's my surgery?" I asked.
"7 hours. It'll take 8 hours." he explained.
"Oh my." I stated quite nervous.
"It's ok, don't be nervous! I'll make sure you're okay. But are you very sure this is what you want? This is major surgery...." He said. I really thought about it, and I know what I want.
"Yes, this is what I want." I said confidently. I will do anything for family at this point, because I realize how important family is. I realized that I don't want this to be guilt free, I want this to be a genuine person, a person who finally does something right. Something for the common good.