family line// joshler

.11.

word count: 333

tyler told josh every detail of the court order the next day, at the park. and josh was gripping the seat of the bench so hard his knuckles were turning white. 

"he's a son of a bitch. 'is what he is."

"you're right."

the wind filled in the silence of tyler and josh. until kids filled the playground. playing with their moms, and their dads, and their siblings. it was almost christmas time. thanksgiving had just gone by, the day before the court order. tyler's family hadn't celebrated thanksgiving since before his granny died.

tyler's eyes watched the little kids. the ones that would get a stack of christmas present as tall and taller than they were. and tyler, well he started to cry. 

josh looked over at tyler and cupped his face.

"why are you crying, ty?"

tyler was silent for a moment. should he lie? would josh think he was weird? josh had everything that tyler could ever want. should he try to make josh understand? the words tumbled out before tyler could even finish thinking.

"it's hard to put it in to words."

"try, i might not understand but im here."

"how.. the holidays will always hurt." tyler looked at a little girl, being pushed by her dad on a swing. "i'll watch the fathers with their little girls. and wonder what i did to deserve this."

tyler brain went back to when his father was around. 

"how could you hurt a little kid. i can't forget. i can't forgive you. 'cause now I'm scared that everyone i love.. will.. leave me."

tyler zoned back in. josh was crying. 

"I love you. and im still here."

"go back."

"huh?"

"repeat yourself," tyler said.

'did he really just say the l word?,' tyler thought. 

"and im still here?"

"no. before that."

and without missing a beat, he said,

"I love you."

-

tyler was quiet. they weren't even boyfriends and josh said the l word.

"y-you love me?" tyler finally spoke.

"yes without a doubt. i can die with you. just let me know.."

"let you know what?"

"if that's what you want too."

a/n: i totally didn't sneak formidable lyrics in there :) 

also 333...

also also the book is halfway over, what do you think? mwah 🥰