COLLYWOBBLES • collection of short ff's

- O. Tooru x I. Hajime | soft angst

character: oikawa tooru & iwaizumi hajime
genre: soft angst
triggers: (i guess) internalized homophobia
synopsis: ROYAL AU / oikawa (the prince) leaves his castle to find his comfort within the knight (iwaizumi)
side note: i never would've thought i would write a royal au. this was lowkey fun

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affairs between people are always a complicated matter, no matter your status. young or old, poor or rich, your relationship with another person will always get complicated at one point or another. it's just apart of human nature.

complicated was one way to describe a certain prince. tooru, one of the most enchanting royals there was. he was always found with plenty of women at his side, be it princesses from other regions, or maids who worked for his family. he attracted them all, and he couldn't say he was displeased.

tooru didn't want to he cocky, but his looks weren't something to be ignored. he didn't keep up with himself for nothing, after all. his soft, glowing skin and his silky, flowing hair. he'd grown it out as he'd gotten older, but maintained it no longer than the ends of his ears. he was physically well, looking slim but strong. he was gorgeous– mesmerizing.

the prince was given everything any normal person would want. he had girls, he had looks, he had plenty of money, and status. tooru had everything. so why did he always sit in his room at night feeling defeated?

as the moonlight seeped through the curtains of his windows, it shined down onto tooru's face. the moonlight showed how his face would morph from sadness, to anger, then back to sadness. it unveiled the pain he felt as his mind was free, and had the opportunity to bring back unwanted thoughts. unwanted memories.

it revealed the hideous side of him.

tooru hated the nighttime. he hated how much discomfort surrounded him when the sun went down, leaving him in a pit of darkness. he couldn't bare it. he had to leave. he had to see him. that was the only way to be relieved of this unbearable pain.

though the brunette prince had to go to great lengths to leave his palace at night by himself, he'd always find his way outside his home walls. it may be a pain to sneak around the guarded halls, and jump the stoned barriers, after laying his sight amongst his solace, his negative emotions would drain away.

every evening, just like now, tooru could find this relief in the backyard of a house. it belonged in the village not to far from his own place of being, which made things much more convenient. the prince would gracefully hop the wooden fences of each house, journeying from backyard to backyard until he was behind a familiar house.

"tooru." there it was. his support. his reassurance at the end of the day. the only thing that brought an abundance of light to the darkness of night. "you're here."

"i'm never late, aren't i?" he hummed playfully, taking a seat in the grass beside his source of comfort. "i miss you... hajime."

"you say that every night, your highness," the other male sighed in exasperation. "... you cannot keep seeing me."

"what? and why not? we had no issues before?"

"yes, we did, tooru." the slightly larger man pinched the bridge of his nose, standing from his spot on the lush grass. "believe me, it pains me as much as it does you. but..."

"but what, hajime?" there was a desperate look in the duke's chocolate eyes. "why must we avoid what our hearts long for?"

"you are a prince. and i..." iwaizumi turn his back the royal. ".. i am only a knight in the slums. a male knight. does that not alarm any bells in your thick skull..?"

"so it's because i was born a man?"

"no, it's not—"

"then what is it!?" tooru partially shouted, moving to stand up taller on his knees. he couldn't care to think about the green stains that would be left on his nighttime pants. "tell me..! all i yearn for is us to be together. is that so much to ask?"

"this land would never accept to be ruled by a queer man. i cannot allow you to let your reputation crumble like that." hajime's words were unwavering. he was stern as he spoke, not turning to look at tooru once.

"so it is because i'm a man... don't you see i'm trying my hardest?" the brunette's voice broke, a lump forming in the pit of his throat. "i've grown out my hair. my waist is slim, and my skin is fair like a woman's. my voice is softer than any female you could find. i've tried so hard to fit your expectations."

hajime pulled at his own hair, promptly turning with sour look. "stop it. you shouldn't change yourself for me. i don't want you to do that. i don't need you to become like a woman."

"i don't know what you want from me, hajime... please make me aware." tears had rolled down tooru's red cheeks, confusing and pain engulfed in his expression. it pained hajime to cause such a look, but some things couldn't be helped.

"stay away from me." it felt as if the world had stopped spinning. "i will tend to my duties, then leave. we would never come in contact unless i am to tend to you."

that brightness. the light that had ever-so-brightly shined from hajime had began to dim. tooru's eyes quivered, watching the illumination fade into nothing but emptiness. there was no warmth. no comfort. the night was back to consume him.

the prince ruggedly stood to his feet. he didn't even had the energy within him to express his anger– his sadness. he could only stare into the knight's soul, which looked back with a blank look. was he always so hard to read before.

"... i will see you tomorrow, sir hajime."

tooru walked off, leaving the man behind with a fist balled to his side. his nails dug into the palm of his hand, holding back the emotions he was afraid of releasing. this was for his good. he had to do it to protect his prince. hajime was a good knight, and good partner, for keeping his loyalties. he was good...

"goodnight, my prince."