better version ; fletcher

the past

so after hours of sitting in my room going through pretty much the whole of cari's discography, from the sex tapes to girl of my dreams i think i finally know everything i need to know. she's been through a lot, and although i don't know completely why her and her ex broke up it sounds like she was so heart broken.

i know what your thinking, i should talk to her about it. but i don't really have a reason too, i know cari and i have been getting a bit too close in these past couple of days. but for me it's just us messing around, she doesn't want to be with someone or fall in love again at least for a long time.

and me, well i have trust issues and am shit at commitment and i would never want to hurt her.
she's a cool girl, she's hot i'll admit that. and i appreciate her going out of her way to make me feel so welcome, and showing me around new york but i don't want her to get the wrong idea.

"what are you guys doing?" i ask, walking into the living room seeing cari, alex and megan sat in a circle with a bottle in the middle. "well first of all we were spinning to decide who chooses what we order for dinner. cari won" alex tells us.

meg stands up and sits on the sofa, pulling me onto her lap strongly. i laugh and relax onto her. the door bell rings and alex shoots up to answer it. we all turn around in our seats and watch.

"hi" a man's voice says, one that's quite recognisable to me. "who are you" alex asks. she opens the door a bit further and that's when i notice him. "dad?" i say, standing up off megan's lap and looking at him with confusion.

he walks in, a look of nerve on his face. "take a seat, i have something important i need to tell you. they can stay if they want, because what i'm about to say won't be easy to hear" he says.

we all sit down on the couch, alex to the left and megan to the right of me. cari sat on the floor in front of us, leaning her back next to my legs. my dad pulls up a chair from the kitchen and sighs. "when you showed up at my house the other day, i wasn't expecting it. i wasn't expecting to ever see you in new york" he says.

"why?" i question.

"i'm not supposed to tell you this, your mom wanted to keep it secret to protect you. but you need to know. i'm not your real dad emilia. your real birth dad is in jail" he announces.

i feel my breath instantly be sucked out of me, my whole body gets the chills. "what" i mumble out.
"you were born in new york, your real dad was involved in some crimes. working with some really dangerous people. around a year after you were born he got caught and sent to jail. your mother was terrified that if the people he worked with knew he had a daughter that they'd come after your family. so your mom gave you my last name, and ran away to new jersey where your brother lives, and then later on decided to go to florida" he explains.

"have you ever wondered why your mom is so scared of you being in new york, going out on your own?" he asks.

"i just assumed it was because it was a new city and she was paranoid about it" i tell him, playing with the sleeves of my hoodie. he shakes his head instantly,

"your dad is from here, he's in jail here. and pretty soon he will be getting released" he tells me. i squeeze my eyes shut and let out a breath, alex beside me rubs her hand up and down my arm.

"what's his name?" i question as a tear falls down my face.

"danny taylor" the man who i once thought of as a parent says to me. i frown my eyebrows at him but then let a small smile come onto my lips. "my middle name is taylor" i say and he nods.

"he always, always wanted a daughter. he was devastated when he knew he had to let you go, so he asked to have just a small part of him in your name, but cause he had taylor as your middle name you wouldn't be recognised. your dad isn't a bad man, you don't need to be afraid of him. but i don't know if he's still involved with these people after all these years" he explains to me.

i nod, understanding how dangerous it could be. but part of me wants to meet this guy.

"so what do i call you now then" i ask, looking at the man in front of me. "just call me james" he says, smiling at me. "i'm so sorry for everything emilia".