And now, an episode of Cops.
Theme song: Bad boys bad boys
Whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do
When they come for
You
Bad boys
The camera is sitting in the back seat of a Sunnyville squad car. Detectives Liam Payne and Zayn Malik are in the front seat. Zayn drives while Liam talks.
Liam: When you've been in this business as long as I have. . .
Zayn: Boss.
Liam: . . .you've pretty much seen it all. You get fed up with all the corruption, all the wickedness. . .
Zayn: Uh, boss?
Liam: Sometimes people forget why they got in this business of keeping law and order. Not me. I always remember, every morning when I wake up. I love being a cop. It's my life. It's the air I breath, the water I drink. It's my passion. What about you, Zayn? What made you choose this profession?
Zayn: Eh, I needed a job. Boss, hey--
Liam: Governor Swift and me, we think alike. We both want to keep this place free of that marijuana.
They want to make it legal? Over my cold dead--
Zayn: Boss, look, the Styles! There they are!
(the camera pans to a car ahead of them)
Liam: Aha! There they are. Harry and Emma Styles. Husband and wife. Bakers and philanthropists by day, pot dealers by night. And the daytime too. The Bonnie and Clyde of Sunnyville.
Zayn: I can also see the Horans in the back seat.
Liam: Another dynamic duo. The Horans are another husband and wife pot dealers. Unlike the Styles, jail is practically their second home.
Zayn: Amen to that.
Liam: Those Styles. They think they're so slick with their fancy clothes and their sexy good looks. (Zayn rolls his eyes at the camera.) But they're no match for me.
(Liam turns on the siren. The car speeds up.)
Zayn: There they go.
Liam: Yeah, we got you now, you (bleep). You can run but you can't hide from Payne Justice.
(Suddenly the Styles stop their car.)
Zayn: Oh (bleep)!
Liam: (Bleep)! Stop!
(The squad car bumps into the Styles. Zayn turns off the engine and everyone jumps out including the cameraman.)
Zayn: Oh my God! Is everybody okay?
(The back door of the Styles' car pops open and Niall Horan falls out onto the ground wailing and holding his neck.)
Niall: Waah! Whiplash! Whiplash!
(The camera zooms in on Niall writhing on the ground. He opens one eye to peek at the camera, then continues hollering.) Whiplash! Whiplash! Owwww! Whiplash!
Zayn(looking around frantically): Oh my God, are you okay, Mr. Horan?
Niall: Hell no I'm not okay! I got whiplash, you idiot! Whiplash! Whiplash!
(Ariana jumps out of the car. She looks at the camera, quickly fluffs out her hair, then dramatically tends to her husband.)
Arie: Oh my poor, poor husband. (looks in camera.) Whatever is wrong with my poor precious pookiebear?
Niall: Whiplash! Excruciating pain! Worse than childbirth but I wouldn't know! (he peeks again in camera with one eye.)
Arie: Oh my poor poor baby. (pats him while looking in the camera.) There there, love of my life.
YOU ARE READING
The Muffin Man ✓
Юмор"Welcome to The Muffin Man Bakery, which has the finest in bread, pasteries, pot, and the freshest muffins in Sunnyville. Did we mention our muffins?" Harry and Emma Styles are the owners of the Muffin Man Bakery, home to the finest in baked goods...
