Bad boys bad boys
Whatcha gonna do
When they come for you
It is the evening. A camera crew is standing with Liam and Zayn, along with a few officers in front of a large fancy house. Liam is speaking into the camera.)
Liam (in a hushed voice): Alright, we are standing outside of the Styles house, bought with drug money. This time we got them. I can feel it in my bones. And this time we don't have to deal with Louis Louis Louis. We sent Mr. Lawyer out of town. Gave him a client in Vegas with big bucks. He won't be back any time soon. (A light suddenly flashes in his face.)
Zayn: Not yet.
Liam: Turn that (bleep) off! (Light goes out.) You dumbass idiot! Anyway this is our chance, the big one, the moment I've been waiting for. This way.
(They all creep to the side of the house.)
Zayn: Ow, all these rose bushes with their thorns.
Liam: This time we've got the warrants, and this time I'm going to remember to say the damn Miranda rights.
Zayn: And I'm going to make sure he says them.
Liam: Here we go. Let's start here. (He approaches a door and kicks it open.) Surprise! Sunnyville P.D. You're under--
(A swarm of people rush past the detectives.)
People: (Bleep)! (Bleep)! (Bleep)!
(They race out the door and into the night.)
Liam: Stop! Stop! You're all under-- Stop, dammit! Oh (bleep)!
(A sudden thick cloud of smoke rushes after the people and swarms the cops like a fog.)
Zayn: Urgh! This is pot!
Liam: Nobody breathe! Hold your breath or you'll get a contact high.
(Too late. Zayn and two of the cops have inhaled the magic smoke.)
Zayn (smiling): Oh wow.
Cop (crying): It's all so beautiful.
Liam: Dammit! Sober up, boys. Stay strong, I need you.
Zayn: I love everybody.
Liam: Aw geez. Wait, what's there?
(They head out to the back yard where a hot tub sits in the center. The Horans are relaxing inside enjoying a soak and a smoke. They jump at the ambush.)
Arie (screaming): Ahhhh!
Niall (screaming): Ahhhh!
Zayn (screaming): Ahhhhh!
Liam: Shut up! Don't move! Don't you two move! Put your hands up and get out of the hot tub!
Niall: Well which is it? You want us to move or don't move?
Liam: Shut up and get out of the damn hot tub! And don't try any funny business.
(The Horans stand up. Arie's top half of her body is censored along with Niall's bottom half.)
Liam: Good God almighty! You're naked!
Niall: I sure am, baby. Drink it in. (He does a little wiggle dance.)
Liam: Put some damn clothes on!
Niall (hands on hips): Why? Jealous much?
(Arie quickly throws on a large T shirt. She hands Niall some swim shorts.)
YOU ARE READING
The Muffin Man ✓
Юмор"Welcome to The Muffin Man Bakery, which has the finest in bread, pasteries, pot, and the freshest muffins in Sunnyville. Did we mention our muffins?" Harry and Emma Styles are the owners of the Muffin Man Bakery, home to the finest in baked goods...
