The Muffin Man ✓

Zayn Follows His Hunch

Due to a stomach bug caused by eating one too many burritos at the Sunnyville Taco Hut, Liam had to take a sick day from work. He left instructions to Zayn.

"Keep searching the Styles," Liam croaked over the phone. "Find out what you can about that bakery too. Don't rest until you find something."

"No problem, boss."

"I'm counting on you, Zayn. Don't let me down. I am not giving up on this, dammit."

So Zayn continued the investigation on his own. He decided to start with the bakery. He kept thinking about that visit when he saw Emma pushing that strange button on the wall that led to nowhere.

Another thing. When he was in the kitchen, he happened to be standing near a wall when he had heard these strange noises. He heard these hushed whispers that echoed through a vent. Then something dropped and a voice said "Shut the fuck up."

There had to be a hidden room down there, like a basement or something. Yeah, Zayn thought, just like in that show Breaking Bad when they were cooking meth in the basement of a laundromat.

Zayn parked the squad car a block away from the Muffin Man, then walked to the bakery, observing the layout. It was a storefront building next to Tomlinson Law Office. He had to walk all the way around to the back of the building and into an alley.

The alley was deserted. Nothing but broken glass and dumpsters. Zayn didn't know why they bothered putting dumpsters back here, loose trash was everywhere. Stepping carefully over empty beer bottles and Cheetos bags he headed to the back of the Muffin Man.

Zayn heard a noise and ducked quickly behind one of the dumpsters, then peeked around the corner. Louis Tomlinson came out of the back door of his office with a large half busted Hefty bag filled with what looked like shredded paper. Louis opened the dumpster and stuffed the bag inside. Then he went back inside. Zayn made a mental note to investigate this Louis Tomlinson. He had some shady stuff going on.

Zayn looked around the bakery when something caught his eye. Behind some weeds on the ground there was a small window. He pulled the weeds aside, knelt on the ground and peered in.

The window was near the basement ceiling. Below Zayn could see what looked like some makeshift terrariums filled with marijuana plants. Niall was there tending to the plants while singing (badly) and dancing (extremely badly) to a song by some boy band. (guess who?)

Zayn was forced to watch and listen as Niall wailed "Little Black Dress" while doing the robot. Oh Jesus Allah Buddha, make it stop, he prayed, make it stop. Why oh why did he have to drop out of college?

Zayn shook his head and tried to focus on the matter at hand. There it was, right in front of him. Proof that the Horans were growing illegal weed right here on the Styles' property. Both were in very big trouble. He couldn't wait to tell Liam.

Meanwhile Harry and Emma were in their office going over the numbers when they heard something scratching outside their window.

"Hey," Emma looked up from the computer. "Do you hear that?"

Harry kept looking through some papers. "Yeah, probably some alley cats or something."

Emma wouldn't let it go. "You should go check it out."

Harry snorted. "Why can't you go check it out?"

"You're the man, it's your job."

"I believe in equal rights, you can go."

"Dammit, Harry, go check."

"You go check."

Emma leaned across the desk and looked her husband in the eye. "Harry," she said. "Do you want to have sex with me sometime this year?"

Harry was at the window in two seconds.

"What is it?" Emma asked. He waved her over. They saw a body lying near their building. It was lying on its front and was looking in their basement window.

"What the hell?" Emma whispered. "Is that a dead body? Do we need to call Louis?"

"No," Harry muttered back. "It's that damned detective Zayn something. He's snooping on our property."

"Oh my God," Emma hissed. "He's looking through the basement window. That uber idiot Niall is in there."

"Son of a bitch," Harry said. "I knew it was a mistake teaming up with them backwoods morons. I betcha Niall is down there now acting the fool."

"We gotta do something."

"Chill, baby, leave it to me. I think I got an idea."

Zayn brushed the weeds aside from the window to see the evidence better. Unfortunately he had to put up with Niall and his excruciatingly bad singing and dancing, with no signs of stopping any time soon. Why oh why did he have to choose Law Enforcement as a career? Better yet, why couldn't he have gotten stomach flu like Liam did?

Zayn reached into his back pocket for his phone. He aimed it carefully at the window. He had to get proof of those marijuana plants. The perfect evidence. Liam would be so proud.

After taking several shots, Zayn tucked his phone away and stood up. He turned and jumped at what was in front of him.

He was face to face with Harry.

Harry stood there staring back with his hands behind his back.

"Oh," Zayn jumped, wondering if Harry was armed.

"Hey," Harry said, not moving.

"Uh, hi."

"Hey, I have a question." Harry said.

"Okay."

Harry remained still. "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

Zayn was confused. "Does what smell?"

Harry pointed over Zayn's shoulder. "That."

Suddenly a cloth appeared from behind Zayn and squished in his face. "Mmph!" He smelled a strong. . .smell. . .then. . .he drifted off.

Emma walked around the unconscious body and stood beside Harry. In her hands was a squished up, soaked Muffin Man T shirt and a bottle of chloroform. "Wow," she said. "I can't believe how fast that worked."

"So what do we do with him?" Harry asked.

"I have an excellent idea." Emma said.

Liam was on his way to the bathroom again with the newspaper when he heard a commotion outside of his house. It sounded like his neighbors.

Strapping on his gun holster, a pajama clad Liam stomped out of his front door. Justice never took a day off, he told himself. He was prepared to kick some butt.

Several of his neighbors were surrounding an object that appeared to be sprawled out on his front lawn. "Okay, what's going on?" Liam demanded. "Let's keep order here, people."

When the people parted Liam saw that it wasn't an object, it was a man. Zayn.

"Holy crap! Zayn!" Liam quickly moved to him. Zayn was unconscious, wearing nothing but Mickey Mouse boxer shorts. There was a note taped to his chest. Liam snatched it off and read:

Nice try Payne

"Ooh!" Liam crushed the note in his hand. He knew the Styles were behind this. Damn them! They got him again. What was it going to take to get them?

"Crap!" Liam screeched.

The people were staring at him. Some had their phones out.

"Okay," Liam waved them away. "Show's over. Go on home. Nothing to see here."

Make no mistake, he thought. The Styles would get it and get it good.