Attaining His Broken Cloud - R-18 COMPLETED

Chapter 43

WARNING: Suicidal attempts, Violence.

Keith Sebastian

What really love means?

Is that word really for me? I don't know what it means because I failed again for the second time.

Bea left me before but I'm still in the light but when Cloud left me... it was like everyone's door was closed to me. There was no light; no light at all, and there was no salvation from the pain when she chose to let go.

Kasalanan ko na naman kung bakit napagod sa akin 'yong nag-iisang taong hindi ako tinalikuran. Parang may sumpa sa akin.

"Don't you have electricity, Baste?!" my Mom shouted at me.

"Mom... gusto ko pong m-mapag-isa," I whispered.

"Ikaw ang may gusto na umusad ang kaso, ano'ng ginagawa mo?" malamig na tanong ni Mom sa akin.

Maging si Silvian ay pursigido na umusad ang kaso ni Cloud. Mas mabuti nga kung meron si Silvian lalo't marami siyang kakilala dahil sa trabaho niya.

I wouldn't be surprised if Mom helped with the case especially knowing how much she loves Cloud.

"What happened to Vien? Can't she find any work now, even the lowest job?" I asked while looking into my waist.

Malakas ang kutob ko na may kinalaman siya si Vien dito. Wala pa kaming nahahanap na testigo sa lalaking lumabas sa eskinita kung saan ito nahagip. Walang nakakita ng mukha ng lalaki kaya hanggang ngayon ay hirap kami.

What's even more painful is that Cloud doesn't want to cooperate with her case as if she doesn't want anything to weigh her down.

Naiintindihan ko naman.

Ito lang ang kaya kong gawin.

Pagod na siya e. Kailangan niyang magpahinga pero 'yong pahinga niya, hindi na niya ako gustong makasama.

"Do you think with the chaos she caused in your relationship with Cloud that I will let her have a quiet life?

Napabuntong hininga ako dahil sa sinabi ni Mom sa akin.

"Halika na, kanina ka pa hinahanap ng Daddy mo... pasko na mamaya, Keith," mahinang sabi ni Mom sa akin at naupo sa tabi ko kaya naman agad kong itinago ang mga laslas sa palapulsuhan ko.

Bakit ko ginawa?

I can't stand the silence in my condo.

I miss her so much.

I miss my home.

It's funny to think that I want to build our relationship that I myself destroyed. I don't know how to tame Cloud. I feel that she doesn't want me anymore but I can't give up.

Malungkot ang araw kung hindi ko siya masisilayan sa umaga bago ko simulang ang buong araw ko.

Malamig ang gabi nang hindi ko siya katabi sa kama naming dalawa.

I have never felt any longing for Bea this much. It's like waking up in the morning to be miserable. It's my fault. It's all my fault.