A Princess Don't Cry

Chapter 3

By the time we make it back home, I'm fast asleep in the backseat. We have about a thirty-minute drive from the school to the castle, so who can blame me?
I wake up just as the BMW slows down in front of the castle stairs. All I want is to lean back against the soft seat and go back to sleep, but life doesn't always give you what you want. Even if it's as simple as a nap in the backseat of a car.
The door opens just as I finish flattering my hair. I step down the BMW, gracefully sliding my backpack over a shoulder.
The Trisiora castle is five hundred and fifty-nine years old. But it still stands in its full glory. The stone walls loom up before me, so tall that I have to crave my neck up to see the top. The castle structure is large, consisting of four towers. My brother lives in the back left tower and my parents live in the back right tower. Yeah. No tower for me. It's sad. Not really. Fewer stairs to climb.
Speaking of stairs. I start making my way to the entrance stairs. There are exactly thirty-seven stone steps. Believe me, I have counted a million times. By the time I make to the thirtieth step, I'm out of breath.
"Seven more. Seven more," I mutter to myself as I force my knees to bend and stretch. I reach the top. Victory, though I have to stop to catch my breath. This is my life after that fateful day of, as I like to refer to it, 'the accident'. I feel the gaze of a million guards on me, but I ignore them and pretend to take in my surrounding.
No one can deny, Trisiora is a beautiful kingdom. So of course the castle grounds are second to no other. Rose bushes line the trail with roses filled on them, grass trimmed to perfection and even the marble statues are polished so that they glow in the sunshine.
Finally feeling better, I make my way to my room.

Guess what the best part of my day is? Yup. It's when I lay down on the sofa and start reading a book. Ah. Life couldn't get better. Oh wait, it could. Life gets soo much better when Yuma brings in the coffee. Coffee and books. Nothing can ever beat that.
As soon as I had entered my room I had a bath and changed into my comfortable cotton frock. Then I started doing my homework. But I couldn't concentrate. I wasn't distracted physically, just that my heart wasn't in it. My heart was filled with too much worry and distress for everything I have to face starting from the person I have to save from the court to the visiting twins.
So I decided to do the only thing that would get my mind off the moment. Read. In the book world, I can leave my reality in exchange for someone else's life. Even if those fantasy characters have problems a million times worse, I know in the end that everything would get solved and everything would be fine. Addicted to happily ever after, remember?
I'm in my second hour of reading when a knock sounds on my door.
"Enter," I say without looking up. It's probably Yuma.
Indeed, Yuma breezes into the living room holding two gowns. I peep over my book. I can't sense the design of either frock, but one is baby pink and the other is a blue mixed with white.
Yuma opens the closet and goes in to hang the gowns. My closet is about half the size of my bedroom and has all sorts of clothing varying from shoes to pants and shirts to gowns. I follow her with my eyes not moving as she hangs the new frocks in a corner.
"I'm dreading to ask, what are those for?" I say when she comes out.
She shakes her head at me. "Opening of the new charity foundation, remember? Tomorrow?" Nope. I definitely forgot. Would anyone notice if I start screaming? "I'll go get the heels" with that Yuma leaves my chamber.
I cover my face with the book. Oh dear. How could I forget? Great. Another thing to add to my 'future sucks' folder. Charities aren't that bad, except for the number of people. People equaled to stares, awkward interactions, and talking.
Uhhhhhh. I put down my book on the coffee table and pick up my phone. It's still four thirty and I already have twenty-seven messages. Plus one from the school. We have a WhatsApp group to which our class teacher uploads any important message from school. Today, our teacher has sent the second term test timetable. I click on the pdf and go through the dates and subjects. The test starts on the fourteenth of July. I glance at the calendar hanging on the left wall of the room. Wait, what? That's three weeks from today.
I obviously knew we are gonna get a test soon, but in three weeks???? They could've warned us before!!!!!! Just like that, my already bad day got worse.
I mean how can I study nine subjects in three weeks??? That's a total of eleven textbooks to study in twenty-one days. Minus all the functions I have to attend, school and sleep. My heart starts beating fast with the odds of getting it all done. I mean, there is no way!! I haven't even started studying yet. Well, I guess that's my fault but still!
My school grades have always been the only thing I'm good at. I was the first in my class last year for two terms. I obviously have to keep it up. The thing is, most people think that when your in the top of the class, tests are nothing to worry about. That tests are something as simple as eating cake. But it's entirely the opposite. When your in the top of the class, the whole class looks up to you. They believe that you are some genius or something. And family and friends expect you to get perfect grades in every test you ever do. It's more pressure than an average student. Because everyone has expectations. And no matter what, you don't want to let them down. At least, that's my case. My parents, and even my brother believe that I'll always get perfect grades. That I'm a very intelligent student. I don't want to let them down. And, if I'm being honest, I'm afraid. I'm afraid to get bad grades. Because that's the only thing I'm good at. And if I'm not good at it anymore? My life would be worthless than it already is.
But this term, I haven't been my best. I blame it on the month I had to skip school due to my health issues. It's a topic I like to avoid, even in my head space.
Anyways, even though I caught up easily with my work (thanks to private tutoring) I haven't been paying attention to classes as I used to.
With all these thoughts running marathons in my brain, I feel a headache looming closer and closer.
So much for starting the day with hope and motivation. This is exactly why I believe hope is a useless emotion that would only bring you disappointment in the end.
Instead of doing the most intelligent thing to do now, which is study, I get up, put on my earphones and leave the room, needing a breath of fresh air.

My most favorite place in the castle is the fruit yard. So yeah, it's basically a whole garden filled with fruit plants. Mangoes, apples, pineapples, grapes, bananas... you name it, we have it. Well, not really. There isn't a pomegranate plant. Pity.
The minus side is that the fruit yard is in the other end of the castle grounds. Yeah. It's a loooong walk. It might actually take me fifteen minutes to get there in this pace. I must be totally depressed if I'm walking all the way there. Oh well.
On my slow walk, with my favorite music blasting in my ears, I pass the stables. A few guards were taking in the horses to their home. I don't know why we still bother with horses. Technology, people! Just hop on a car and go wherever you like. I stop to gaze at the black mare putting up a fight with a guard. It was turning its head this way and that, its mane flying around. What a courageous spirit, I think.
Looking at it makes me wonder if I'll ever have that much courage.
Deciding it's not very healthy to compare my life to a horse, I restart my own course.
I pass a water fountain, the healers' quarters, another water fountain, and then the soldiers' quarters. As I walk in front of the large building which was where all the soldiers resided, my father walks out the front door. He's talking with a guard. As he catches sight of me, he says something and nods at the guard before coming toward me.
"What's my daughter doing in the soldiers' quarters at this hour?" the king says, as he reaches me.
"She's searching for fruit." I confide, pulling out my phone from my frock pocket and pausing the song.
Father laughs, coming to a stop in front of me. "Why can't you ask a maid to bring you the fruit you want like a normal person?"
"But I'm not a normal person!" I pretend to be confused. "I'm a princess!"
Father laughs again, shaking his head. He seems to be in a good mood, I think surveying his laughing face. His intense green eyes filled with humor, jaw covered with black stubble relaxed, short black hair windblown, he's my father. Not the King of Trisiora, just my father. That's what I love about my family, even though they have very important jobs and responsibilities, they always have time for family.
"Let's go to the fruit yard?" I plead, making my eyes wide and adopting my puppy-eyed look. It always works. "Please?"
Father's smile softens. "As my beloved daughter wishes," he says, extending his arm to me. I put my hand on his arm and we start walking toward the fruit yard.
"So tell me. How's school?" my father asks me.
I let out a sigh, anxiousness returning.
"We have a term test in three weeks." I feel Father's gaze on me.
"I bet your ready to slay, huh?" why does he have to sound so sure? I heart twists with guilt.
"I haven't touched a book yet... I'm gonna start today." I say tightening my grip on his arm.
"Your gonna be fine, Kathy," he says patting my hand, "With a brain like yours, you can ace it with no effort." That's the worse part. He believes in me. I haven't been my best this term, and I'm sure he'll understand if I say so, but I know I won't. Getting good grades is the only way I'm repaying for everything done for me. The only way I prove to others and myself that I have a purpose.
"Yeah." I say lightly. "I hope so." I think about skipping school tomorrow to stay in and study... or maybe not. Hopefully, I'll have some time before the charity event to study tomorrow. Where exams are concerned, every day matters. Maybe one day I could convince myself not to take exams this seriously. Speaking of convincing,
"Hey, father. Do you know a person called Browngig?"
"Browngig?" he looks thoughtful, "Oh yeah. Did some highly unlawful dealings I heard." He looks down at me, "Why'd you ask?"
"No... It's just that-"
"Kathy, Kathy. Don't worry yourself about this stuff. I'll handle them, okay? The only thing you have to do is study and do your mother and father proud, yeah?"
I look away to hide my reaction. See? It was no use. I can't believe I even considered the possibility of me convincing Father. And again, the study thing. I told you it was a lot of pressure, didn't I?
Father pats my arm again, "Now tell me something interesting," he instructs me, "How are your friends? Mireya, Jesse, and Becky?" I smile at that. It warms my heart that even with a whole kingdom weighing down his brain, he still remembers the names of my friends.
"Yeah, they're good." I tell him as the fruit yard comes into view, " they want to go watch a movie this Saturday,"
"Are you going?"
"Do you think mom would agree?" I ask him giving him a look.
He chuckles. "Do you want to go?"
That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? Do I want to go?
"I don't know," I say quietly.
Father puts an arm around me as we walk under a canopy of mango trees, the smell of mangoes stealing the air, "think about it, I'll talk with your mother."
We spent the rest of the afternoon plucking fruit and eating them until we couldn't take a bite anymore. Then we make our way back to the castle and as soon as I reach my room I take out my books and start studying. Just before dinner, I get a message from Jesse saying that maybe we should cancel Saturday since our exams are coming up. All in all, maybe it wasn't a bad day after all. Who am I kidding? It was definitely still a bad day. But at least I'm still alive. That counts, right?