A Princess Don't Cry

Chapter 9

As I get to the castle, exhaustion didn't sum up what I was feeling. I was drained.

It took all my energy left to climb up the castle stairs. Why do we have stairs, anyways? Why can't we have an elevator or something? At least an escalator? Nope. No such luck. Maybe when Conrad becomes King, I'll convince him to install elevators.

Speak of the devil.

"Kathy, Kathy, Kathy," my brother says as he pauses at the top of the second-floor stairs. I look up at him, standing at the bottom. Great. More stairs.

"Cony, Cony, Cony," I mimic him. You can sleep now, I remind myself as I stare up at the stairs. Right. Sleep. I start climbing.

Conrad is looking at me with concern as I make it up. "Kath? You okay?"

"Yeah," my voice comes out breathless. I'm slightly swaying now. Conrad grabs my shoulders, straightening me. "I'm fine." I shrug his hands off and make my way to my room. He follows me, probably afraid I'll drop to the ground. He's not wrong. My chest hurts and someone is choking me. I might fall on the floor any minute.

I open my door, drop my bag on the sofa and head straight to the bed.

"I'm dead," I say, falling face-first onto the bed.

Oh my God. This feels soo good. I love my bed.

Okay, can't breathe.

I turn around and lie on my back, closing my eyes as I breathe in slowly. God, it's painful. I lay a hand on my chest and feel the fast beating of my heart.

"Kathy?"

Oh, right. Forgot my brother was here. I drop my hand to the side but don't open my eyes.

"I'm dead, remember?" I open my eyes to find Conrad staring at me. "You better come to my funeral," I pause, "Oh wait, you'll have to plan my funeral!"

I burst out laughing as Conrad keeps staring at me.

"You are so weird, Kathy," with a sigh, he shakes his head and sits on the edge of the bed.

I sigh, "I know right? I can't believe I'm making death jokes. Why am I always making death jokes?"

Maybe that's because I'm not afraid of death. You know? When you come close to losing it all once, you learn to appreciate everything you have and expect nothing more. You learn to let go. If you can let go, what's the use of fearing death?

My mind goes back to two years ago. The library...tutors, blood, and pain. So much pain.
Everything I worked for, gone in a matter of seconds.

Stop thinking about it!

And sometimes? I feel that death is a mercy given to the living.

"You look tired," Conrad says, and I snap back to the present.

"Yeah," I say softly.

"Theodoric visited your school, did you know?"

"Yeah," I say again, not in the mood to elaborate.

He snorts. "Guess what he told me? 'Is that the best school you've got? If so, I don't know what we should call Sun Trivet.' " Conrad says in a whiny voice, which is not how Theodoric sounds.

"Sun Trivet?"

"It's their version of Nobility high." My brother explains.

I think back to Theodoric saying our school was impressive. He said it like he really meant it. And...he was pretty nice to me. It's confusing.

"Did you realize that Sun Trivet rhymes with Dumb nugget?" I say.

We both burst out laughing.

"It does not!" Conrad says still chuckling.

"It does!" in my mind, I repeat the words. Huh. Now I'm not sure if it rhymes anymore. Maybe I am bad at rhyming words. Goodbye, my dream as a poet.

Kidding. I never wanted to be a poet.

"You're taking it well this time. Their visit." I can hear the smile in Conrad's voice.

I guess that's true. Huh. Guess it's not only Theodoric who changed.

At least Georgia is the same.

"What's their problem, anyways?" I ask my brother, starting at the white ceiling of my bedroom.

"What problem? There is no problem." I notice that he's sitting up straight now.

"Alright, Kath. I've gotta go. Call if you need anything, alright?" he pats my head, then he's gone.

I sigh and close my eyes again.

There is something definitely going on in the castle, and it has something to do with my brother. That much I'm sure of. But what is it?

Why can't they just tell me? Maybe it's because I'm still not educated enough?

I think of my exams coming up in two weeks and make up my mind.

Fine. They don't want me involved? I'll prove to them I'm knowledgeable enough. I'll get a ninety percent average and they wouldn't be able to argue with me. I'll show everyone I'm worthy.

I only have two weeks, but I feel motivated now. I can do this. I can earn my place in the court. I just have to pass this exam well. Not well, very well. Then Father and all will understand.
I can do this.

My motivated studying session lasted for a total of fifteen minutes before I fell asleep.
Great.