If that's what it takes

61

Derek stood for a moment, looking at the broken frame and broken glass that littered the inside of the closet. He looked around at the stuffed animals on the floor, her prized possessions, her warmth, her comfort. She had surrounded herself with the things that made her happy and made her feel comfortable, sharing with them the memories of her mother, the memories of when she felt the safest, and he had literally destroyed it in front of her very eyes. In front of all of their eyes, plastic or painted, he felt his stomach knot as he placed her bag on the floor and stepped over the mess he had made.

"Zoey!" He called, listening to her running across the floor downstairs. "Zoey, come here!" Derek called. His voice was desperate and full of sorrow, his hands shaking as he ran from the room and down the stairs, following the sound of her feet as their pounding stopped and he heard the sound of the sliding door in the back of the house open and slam closed. "Zoey... Zoey, please!" Derek called as he ran down the hallway and to the back door, where he pressed his face against the window, watching as she climbed onto the swing on the back porch, turned and grabbed the blanket she had pulled from the chair and wrapped it around herself as she stared at her feet and rocked back and forth.

He carefully slid the door open and walked toward her. "Zoey... Zoey, I'm sorry... look at me... look at me, sweetheart?" He asked as he crouched down in front of her, her feet rocking as she stared at them, kicking Derek as she rocked, not on purpose, but not really caring at the same time. "Zoey, please look at me." Derek whispered as he moved his head into her line of sight, sending her eyelids closed tightly. "Please, little girl... DD is sorry... he's sorry... look at him, sweetheart, please? Please look at me, baby..." Derek whispered as she squeezed her eyes tighter, pulling her hand across her face as a tear escaped the corner of her eye. "Please... please, Zoey..." He whispered as he felt hot tears rolling down his face. "Please?" He said in a broken voice as she shook her head, another tear rolling down her cheek as she tried to hold in her tears, her teeth gritting as she clenched her fists and held tightly to the blanket. "Do you want me to go away?" He whispered, watching her nod her head quickly. "Are you sure?" Another nod. "I'm going to go into the house... I'll let you... I'll let you be alone..." He whispered. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Zoey, I'm sorry..." He sniffled as he reached out to pull her hair from her face, watching her push him away.

His heart was clenching, shooting pains into his chest as he tried desperately to hold in his emotions. "I love you... I love you and I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." He whispered as he stood up and took a step backwards, watching as she caught another sob, a loud gasp as she clenched her teeth and eyes harder as he slipped back into the house and closed the door.

She heard the door slide closed and she could feel him watching her, she could feel him willing her to accept his apology. She could feel his sorrow, feel his pain and anger at himself. She could sense that he was hurting too, but her eyes were closed so tightly and all she kept seeing over and over was the vision of her mother's picture falling from his fingertips and breaking into a million pieces at his feet. "Mama..." She whimpered as she squeezed her eyes tightly. "Why did you have to go to heaven, Mama!" She shouted angrily as she slammed her fist down on the swing. "I'm so alone..." She sobbed, staring up at the top of the porch, she moved her eyes down and they settled on the image of Derek sitting on the chair in the kitchen, his head in his hands as he too cried tears of sorrow.

She watched him as she cried, her tears rolling down her cheeks quickly as she cried, she put her head down when he looked up at her, allowing her tears to fall into her lap as she stood up and walked toward the door. She wiped her tears from her face and reached up for the door, sliding it open, she walked inside as she sniffled, holding back her sobs as she closed the door again, she kept her eyes downcast as she walked past him out of the kitchen, down the hallway and back up the stairs, leaving Derek alone with only the memory of the happy little girl.

He waited a short time, her sobs didn't last long after she had gone to her room, and Derek thought that maybe she had fallen asleep upstairs. He walked to the stairs and climbed delicately up each step to her room. He thought to knock, but if she were asleep he didn't want to wake her. He stepped into the room and by the light of the moon shining in her window, he could see her still form on the bed, curled comfortably on her blanket. Her thumb was planted firmly in her mouth, her arm wrapped securely around Molly as she slept soundly. On her other side, grasped tightly in her hand was Floyd, the little mouse from Alex. His brow furrowed as he swallowed hard, his eyes traveling the room for only a moment as they led him to the small rocking chair across the room. In the rocking chair, covered comfortably with a blanket, alone and away from all of her other toys, sat Mister Derek. Derek's breath caught in his throat as he looked at the bear sitting across the room so sad and alone. He first walked to the bed, lifting the blanket over her tiny body, she curled instinctively within it, her eyes closed tightly as she barely moved. He then stepped over to the rocking chair, watching the gentle rise and fall of the little girl's chest as he lifted the bear from his resting place. He turned and backed himself into the chair, pulling Mister Derek into his arms, he covered his lap with the blanket, wrapped his arms around the bear and fell asleep to the sound of the little girl's sleepy sighs as he cried silent tears for her.