If that's what it takes

97

The shopping trip was uneventful, and Derek went about making dinner for him and his guests. Sarah sat at the counter as she watched him. "Derek..." She sighed.

"You know, when you say my name like that, I know you're going to bring up something I don't want to hear..." He informed her as he turned his head to see her leaning on her hands.

"I just... I don't know... a child is a big responsibility."

"She keeps me together, Sarah." Derek replied. "She showed up at just the right time... and I can't imagine life without her."

"Derek..." She whispered. "What... are you going to do when her mother is well enough to take her back?" She asked as she watched Derek turn his head quickly.

"Huh?"

"Meredith, Derek... what are you going to do when she is well again. You wouldn't have had the surgery done if you didn't want her to be well again. I'm assuming you have the expertise to know whether she'll be fully functional after her therapy."

"She will be." Derek said. "We're sure the paralysis is only temporary... but she's been immobile for six years. It can take months for her to start moving around on her own."

"And then what?"

"And then... what? Derek shrugged. "Then she's better."

"And then she takes her daughter, Derek. What are you going to do?" Sarah asked.

"I haven't really thought about it, Sarah." Derek replied. "Why do you insist on bringing up things that are going to do nothing more than irritate the crap out of me?" He asked.

"Because they're important questions, Derek. I don't want your heart to be broken." She said as she watched him ignore her. "Derek... I've seen you hurt... don't do this to yourself. You need to talk about it."

"It's not anything that is going to happen soon, Sarah. Meredith knows how much she means to me... She knows Zoey is important to me, and she knows that she's important to me."

"Alright." Sarah said. "Now turn that around... what happens to Meredith when you're ready to give up Zoey?"

"Sarah." Derek replied.

"No, Derek... stop saying my name... this is just... argh! You are frustrating me!"

"What do you want me to say, Sarah?" Derek asked as he turned around quickly. "What do you want me to say? The little girl is going to have her mother... her mother, the woman who has been waiting to walk out of that hospital holding her hand for that little girl's entire life... I am not going to be the one to stop it from happening... and I'm not going to stand in their way. Yeah... maybe I'll be hurt, maybe... maybe I'll get a little depressed..."

"Don't fool yourself, Derek. It's going to devastate you." She whispered as she held his eyes with her.

"Then so be it." He said as he turned around again, continuing to prepare dinner. "What is the point of this conversation, anyway?" He muttered as he listened to his sister sigh.

"I just want you to know... that... when you do break... I'm not going to say 'I told you so.'" She whispered. "You can come to me, Derek... no matter what."

"I know that." He muttered as he looked to the ceiling. "Sarah..." He said as he turned his head. "Don't worry about me, alright?"

"I'm always going to worry about you, Derek." Sarah said with a small smile. "You always manage to find something for me to worry about."

"I'm dreading Thanks giving." Derek whispered.

"I know you are." Sarah shrugged. "But when it's all said and done... you've got quite the life out here in Seattle. And the women just fawn over you."

"You're not bringing up the Kara thing again, Sarah."

"I didn't say anything about Kara... but it's funny that you should mention her... first thing out of your mouth." She said with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up, Sarah." Derek muttered as he shook his head and continued making dinner.

"What's the name of that river in Egypt?" She asked, as she giggled, listening to her brother's low chuckle as he shook his head and pretended to ignore her.