Loving Oliver

【Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ ３６ Ｌｏｖｉｎｇ Ｔｈｅ Ｕｒｇｅ．．． Ｎｏｔ】

【Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ　３６　Ｌｏｖｉｎｇ　Ｔｈｅ　Ｕｒｇｅ．．．　Ｎｏｔ】

TW: Pregnancy, Drugs, Addiction, Mental Health

My mind was swirling with so many thoughts that I couldn't focus on any for too long. Learning that I could rebuild my relationship with Oliver was a relief. I had forced my mind for so long not to entertain the idea of never being in his life again. So, when I was faced with the conversation with Peterson I had felt my body filled with nerves.

But this was good.

Being in Oliver's life wouldn't risk his health and recovery. Befriending him again, building our relationship whether friendship or platonic would be viable with time and patience.

As long as I didn't push him when it came to remembering then this was a real possibility.

Oliver remembering was possible. It would be difficult but possible.

And that was all that I needed right now, possible.

We could make new memories together, we could graduate together, we could have the life we always wanted.

And I could do it as a normal teenager and without my mom controlling every aspect of my life.

As normal for me as possible anyway.

And I'd take this.

The idea of going to school with Oliver excited me, the thought of being able to spend more time with him was overwhelming.

But was that right?

It meant something to me, but it didn't to him.

I was just his neighbor from across the street he shared one awkward dinner with.  And the one time he offered to help me with my truck.

And then I'd have to tell him about us, our history, and about himself.

His mother wasn't honest with him about what he wanted out of life for himself. That I was sure about.

She had thrown a literal fit when he had told her he wanted to pursue music classes. Specifically, music production. She had said that they wouldn't pay for his college if he didn't go into medicine.

He was trying to figure out how he could take enough classes of music between community college and other colleges in New York to get a degree or at least learn enough so that he could start producing demos.

He'd really lost it with her after that. Ollie loved his mom but there came a point in his life where she was smothering him, where she had become so controlling and hateful to everything he wanted out of life.

Because it wasn't what she wanted.

Oliver had dealt with it up to a point, but he had had it with her. After the argument about his interest in studying music production in college their relationship was rocky at best.

Until I got pregnant.

She'd been in agreement with my mother, insisting that I .... That Ollie and I wouldn't keep the baby.

Our Ivy.

And that had been the last straw. Oliver had made his choice.

He chose us.

I'd felt rotten because I didn't want to destroy their relationship, but I also wanted what was best for Oliver and that was letting Oliver live his life and make his own decisions.

His mom had kept him sheltered for so long and Oliver wanted to be free.

Oliver told me that it wasn't my fault, that it would've always turned out this way. He said it was the same as my mom.