Bullet Casings Of Hell

Chapter 19: broken

Two days after the incident, I was pardoned from the murders of Scott, Reginald, and Kyle since word came out that everyone knew about them beating and raping Loona. Since they did that horrible crime, they are remembered as rapists, not heroes, and their bodies don't deserve an honorable burial and they are burned into the furnace in the basement. Natalya then made strict rules on everyone that sexual harassment will never be tolerated and whoever tries, will be automatically dishonorably discharged and persecuted in the most horrible punishment.

As for me, I was in a horrible depression since that incident. I'm no longer allowed to leave the alpha dorm unless I want to visit Loona in the infirmity if I ask permission first. And as for my suicidal act, all my weapons, including my katana have been confiscated and I have been caught cutting my wrists in the bathroom yesterday and I had to take stronger medications. I'm not allowed to be alone anymore, I had to stay close to one of my teammates and I can't sleep alone in my room either and Krystal has been constantly reading my mind with her telepathic powers. I'm even excluded from doing missions and that wasn't fair.

I didn't like the restrictions at all and felt upset about it, but they did it to protect me, and Natalya wanted me to be cured from my insanity. I slept in Nika's bed this morning since I just want to sleep through the cruel reality. I heard her alarm go off and she slams it and gets up and stretches a bit. She sees me still asleep under the covers and decided to leave me be while she went to do her morning shower.

In the Living Room, Dasha was looking at some reports of the raids on the recent Red Claw bases that was not longer in control after Commander Hilton is killed.

"Well, looks like we destroyed three bases in the east of the continent." Dasha says with happiness.

"How many humans did we save during the raids?" Krystal asked.

"Like about 2785 humans in total. 2005 children, 780 adults. Most of them are in critical condition." Dasha says with worry.

"They are in good hands." Krystal says.

"I'm worried about Stan. He never wanted to come out bed in the last few days." Dasha says as she puts down the papers.

"Well, I have been looking through his mind and he's in a spiral of depression of his bipolar disorder, his PTSD has gone quiet, but his condition is worsened a little." Krystal explains.

"What about the new medication he's taking?" Dasha asked.

"He refuses to take it. He lies of taking it." Krystal says.

"Jesus Christ.... We'll make him take it. He needs to take those pills so it will cure him." Dasha says.

"I'll make sure Nika will help out with that." Krystal says as she grabs the medicine from the medicine cabinet.

After Nika got dressed, she tried to wake me up and get me out of bed. She pulled the covers off me and my arm a little.

"Time to get up Stan, I can't let you sleep through another day. It's not healthy for you." Nika says as she makes me sit up.

I opened my eyes without a word and Nika tries to find an a way to cheer me up. I just walked to the bathroom and went in the shower stall and sat down as I feel the warm water going down on my skin. It did help me wake up, but it didn't make me smile or feel happy again. I heard someone walking in without knocking and I noticed it was Dasha naked and she's only wearing a towel. I looked away fast to respect her, however, she just came in the shower stall without knocking.

"I hope you don't mind me joining you." Dasha says as she came in, took off her towel, and closed the shower curtain.

I gave her a gesture that I didn't mind at all. She smirked and she sat next to me while feeling the warm water on us. It was awkwardly silent since I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to meditate and gather my thoughts that I just look down. I felt arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to her that I felt her breasts touching the back of my head while she hugs me. It started to help me a little, but she didn't stop as she kisses my neck a few times.

"Stan, I know things have been hard for you, but you need to tell us what's been bothering you besides the incident and I won't let go of you unless you tell me." Dasha says as she made me look at her.

"I'm broken." I spoke.

"You are not broken; you just need some emotional help from us, and you must take that medication we are giving you if you want to be cured. You just need to open more for us. We never wanted to hurt you; we just want to be with you because you didn't deserve the trauma during the war." Dasha explains.

"I'm trying okay. I can't do it. You want to know why?"

"Then tell me why."

"I never had friends, I'm not even aloud to leave the house, I never went to school or gone further than the front yard of my parents' house when I was five. I been having dreams of flashbacks of seeing them leaving me home alone and saying they need to run some errands. And its hard for me to admit of what they are doing. Like lying and leaving me home while they go kill some of your kind for no reason. But they are the only people I can talk to, but they never cared about me, but I cared about them. Your luckily you have family, a mom that cared for you and she is still alive today. I had no one for 13 years, I was trained to be an assassin killer by some human rebels. I don't even want to kill anyone, not even your last president but he started it just because he thinks we did that massacre in your small town that we never did. But hey, it doesn't even matter, I wanted to die, I don't want to live, and I don't want to be part of this god forsaken war. That's why I slashed my arms yesterday, not just I killed those rapists, it's just nothing is getting better. That's what's been bothering me." I explained.

I started crying a little and tried to hold it all in because I didn't want anyone to see me cry anyway. Dasha was very shocked about what I said to her that she made me turn around and face her. She hugged me tightly. I hugged her back and I started to cry on her shoulder. She rubbed my back a little as I felt her muzzle resting on my neck. We had a couple of minutes of hugging and Dasha wanted to clean me. I thought it wasn't necessary, but she won't take no for an answer. She started massaging my thick hair as I felt the shampoo going through and she then started scrubbing my back. It was still sensitive because of my stitched scars but she was careful enough.

Later, I took the new medications since I don't want Nika to shove them down my throat and I know she cared. The girls were closer to me than before since Natalya told them to be more supportive for my mental sake, but I think it was more than that since they wanted to be around me since they do care about me. They wanted to be more than a friend to me and family to them. I just wish Loona was around right now, but she was still in the infirmary recovering.

I sat down while Krystal served me a plate of her special pasta that was leftovers from yesterday and I started eating and the girls smiled that I'm doing okay, even though that I'm quiet. Just then there was a knock at door and Dasha answered it. It was Natalya and Chloe walking in the room since they have a mission for them.

"Hey mom, what brings you here?" Dasha asked.

"There have been photos of humans hiding somewhere in the wastelands in the east. I want you and Bravo team to capture them unharmed and bring them here to safety before Red Claw does." Natalya says.

"On it." Nika says as she hurried to her room and got dressed.

"As for you Stan, I want you come with me while they are away." Natalya says.

"Yes General." I answered.

After Nika, Krystal, and Dasha left with Chloe and Samantha and her friends at the hangar. Natalya took me to her quarters so she can keep an eye on me while they are away but I'm starting to think it's going to be more than that.