Running up that hill

Chapter 33: Old Enough To Love

Max's pov:

I heard Robin's voice echoing in the room. I pulled my sleeves down and hid the knife behind my back. 

"Hey Rob what you doing here?" I asked her my voice all broken. She took a step closer to examine my face. 

"Why are your eyes red? And why is your voice braking into pieces?" she questioned taking a step back. I looked at the ground trying to find an excuse. The silence seemed to last forever, I tried to think of something but I couldn't bring myself to. I heard a sudden gasp coming from her causing me to lift my eyes to meet hers. "Max what did you do...?" she spoke quietly tears in her eyes. I started looking around, my eyes met the floor where a few drops of blood were falling from the knife. She approached me quickly and took it away from me backing up to look at me. I was freaking out, I couldn't move, I was paralyzed. I bit my lips trying to stop tears from falling. She suddenly looked at my hand, I did too trying to understand the look on her face. Along my pinky was sliding a drop of blood. That was the breaking point, I could not contain any emotions she knew. I saw it in her eyes. I felt almost like a compassion, like she lived this already which wasn't reassuring. Hot tears fell off my eyes as I felt her eyes on me. She was just staring a tear falling from her eye. "Why..?" she quietly said. I couldn't get any words out of my mouth. I heard her gulp, I looked at the floor trying not the flood of thoughts going through my mind to hit me. She probably did once or still is and I'm bringing her back to this pain. I'm awful. How can I be loved this way? How can some people care about me? Why do they? Why would they ever care? Why would they? I felt a shaky hand grab mines and other on my chin lifting my head up. Robin's eyes met mine. "Max...show me...I need to know how bad it is..." she seriously told. I nodded. She slowly lifted my sleeves, some cuts bigger and deeper than the others were bleeding floods. "Sit down" she nicely asked. I sat on the counter as she started cleaning them. 

"Robin...don't" I told her feeling my lungs burn. 

"Max...why?" she asked ignoring what I said. 

"I...Robin...I can't stand me" I laughed whipping some tears away. She looked at me pain living in her eyes. "Lucas...Lucas is mad...and...stuffs" I tried to explain.

"Max you are not awful and you do deserve to be loved and no Neil or Billy or Elena or your father are not right. And yes Lucas loves you." she spoke as if she read my mind. 

"How do...how did...how?" I asked her confused. She put the bandages on my wrists and took my hands in hers. She smiled weakly at me. 

"I used to...and...I know" she weakly smiled again. 

"I'm sorry..I'm bringing..you shouldn't.." I tried to speak as I felt like my throat was closing. She helped me get off the counter and sat me on the ground. She brought me to her chest and wrapped her arms around me my hands still in hers. 

"Inhale...Exhale...Inhale...Exhale..." she whispered slowly breathing along with me. "You're doing great...It's okay Maxie...you're gonna be okay..." she whispered as I felt my breath go back to normal. I took a deep breath and relaxed feeling safe. "That's it you can let go...I'm here..." she quietly spoke. I heard a door open, a tall figure walked in approaching slowly the kitchen. 

"Max...were are you Maxie..?" he whispered yelled. I looked at Robin starting to feel anxious again. She dropped me and got up. 

"Sup" she spoke almost falling on the floor cause she was in socks on the incredibly slippery floor. 

"Robin?!" Lucas exclaimed in utter shock. 

"Shhhh you're gonna wake the kids!" she whispered yelled. 

"What are you doing here?" he questioned.

"What am I doping here...uh yeah good question..." she mumbled. "I am here to see if you're here! And you are!" she spoke. "Listen we're not waking up in the early morning to go back to Hawkins tomorrow...It's rainy like hell out there and it would be dangerous...we called your parents they know about it" she explained.