In an iron cage called a new body

Part 6 I'm sorry, I didn't want to die

Alan stood at a loss from the girl's story, looking from the photo to the mechanic and back. What he heard was momently unblocked in his memory, it seemed like a forever lost memory and fear from the realization enveloped the guy more and more with every second. He could no longer take his eyes off the sheet of paper from which the living version of him was looking at Walker with a smile.

- Even after so many years, you could not forget me, could not find another loved one and took such a desperate step to ..

- Just to be next to you again. Understand me, I didn't need anyone but you. No one could replace your smile, your wonderful sincere eyes and strong hugs, - the girl said, fixing her gaze on the floor. She did not have the courage to look into the eyes of her lover, she only perplexedly fingered a strand of golden hair, - I love you and only you.

- You changed your appearance and name and came to work in this office for me .. You were the only one who didn't give a damn about me, the only one who took care of me even after I became a big cold machine, I'm.. Alan and Vivi suddenly looked at each other. So sincere, full of pain and regret, that they could not maintain this contact for a long time. After a short silence, Walker continued the dialogue.

- Forgive me, please forgive me. I was so stupid and now I... and now we... I'm sorry... I didn't want to die. He looked at the girl with a look of despair. He would burst into tears right now if he could. Viivi hugged him gently and began to slowly stroke his back with her hand in an attempt to calm him down. The guy hugged her back, only slightly pressing her to him. He was afraid to hurt her. No matter how hard she held back, tears still appeared in Niemi's eyes, which she immediately tried to hide by wiping them on her shoulder. After standing like this for a while, the lovers broke off their embrace. After a brief thought, the girl gestured for Alan to bend over, the young man obediently obeyed. Viivi kissed him right on the forehead, gently stroking his head. Butterflies, calm before, cut her stomach from the inside. A new wave of sadness and remorse swept over the guy. The girl, giggling softly from the stress, smiled affectionately, looking into Walker's empty eyes.

- Thank you for everything .. - he said quietly, - I will always appreciate what you did for me, baby. The guy gently brought his hand to her chin and carefully touched her face, as if he wanted to merge with her in a kiss, - I love you and will always love.

-Like I love you, dear, Niemi whispered.

Jamie and Kenneth those who stood nearby watched this naive picture without uttering a word. They felt a mixture of regret and envy. During all this time, none of their relatives or friends came to visit them and never showed them affection. Moreover, at that moment they could not even remember any of the people close to them. It was only now that memories of the events of 2018 were surfacing in their minds. The show and the death. Silly and fast. Did they really deserve all this? Did they really deserve the role of the dead, the role of puppets? Why is this happening to them? Well, they'll have plenty of time to think about it.

Alan Olav Walker. At night, he could not move away from everything that he had learned during the day. Although he was absolutely motionless, thoughts swirled in his head, arguments about his idle life and such an absurd death. If only he could right now be next to his living self and dissuade him from this stupid performance. ? Why did fate treat him so cruelly at some point? Was this a price for his gullibility and frivolity, or just an inevitability? And why did the same alignment await Kenneth and Jamie? All he wanted then was to feel alive again, to feel like himself again, truly himself. Even if his fans were still with him, they did not take him seriously. He wished he could take it all back.

Jamie Lou Stentzel. This name doesn't mean anything anymore. Now her name exists only for shows, her face is an artificial image. She is no longer a person, she is not considered a human. She is treated like a thing. Maybe because she is the thing? Yes, exactly, she is not a slave or a puppet, but simply a soulless toy. Huge metal doll. That was why her mother never came to visit her, there was no point in it. Her daughter is dead and the iron mannequin is no match for her, couldn't replace her. It's not her anymore. Those stupid ponytails aren't real. Blue skirt? Yes, she never wore blue skirts in her life, and even more so she did not combine them with a leather jacket. Now she is a vocaloid, already completely different than before. No longer a person, no longer alive, no longer a human. If only she could cry, if only she could drown in her tears. Perhaps, saving her from the hardships of life only helped her. Helped to renounce worldly fuss. Then why does she exist? To sing? And why did she exist before? Also to sing? Maybe, she always felt like a dependent, someone's doll, and now she feels much more human, experiencing such strong emotions. Why not? Who can confirm that this is not so, she remembers almost nothing about her life. Neither the faces of relatives, nor who they were. She only remembers her mother. Loving, caring. Even if she left Jamie, then no one else needs her. At least she tried to convince herself of it. This was much easier to do while in a paralyzed state.