𝐒𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 | 𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Chapter thirty two

I wasn't sure what time it was but I decided on sleeping in considering I had a raging hangover and we didn't have to work today. Peering at my phone I saw the time; it was eleven.

My breath smelt of strong alcohol which made me cringe, I didn't understand how anyone could drink the next day when feeling so rough;  least in my case anyway.

Peeling reluctantly from my bed I showered quickly, dressing in some baggy sweatpants and an oversized playboy hoodie. I wasn't in the mood today and to be quite frank I embarrassed myself last night. What I did was dirty of me, I should of never kissed a taken man outside of filming.

I hurt Emma, though I couldn't help but feel rather smug with myself on that part. She poked the bear and got a reaction. I genuinely hated her guts and I hoped she got what she was looking for.

Buttering some toast I tried to stomach it; though my belly twisted in response making me rush for the toilet and hurl up the contents. Weakly I pushed my hair out of my face and sat with my knee's to my chest.

Then my already clouded head started thinking back to Alex, the way he would force me to drink alcohol until I puked, violently puked. If I didn't obey him he would hit me or even worse rape me. As sick would pool from my mouth he would tell me how disgusting I was, how worthless I was and how no man would ever want me.

I was glad that he was rotting in jail, hopefully he dies in there before getting out. Cupping my face with my hands I silently sobbed; all the trauma now resurfacing which it did now and again.

I just wanted to go home, wrap myself up and escape the world. I didn't want anyone or anything, no socialisation or responsibilities. I wanted that so badly.

My nails instinctively scratched at my wrist like I did for habit, trying to replace the razors I used to use but it didn't have the same affect, my wrist now stinging which settled my traumatic brain. God Alex messed me up so badly, I am here living my dream and acting yet I'm so fucked in the head I am trying to inflict pain upon myself.

Picking myself up from the bathroom floor I brushed my teeth and then went into the living area, criss crossing my legs on my couch with my phone in hand.

I wanted to text Evan, ask him how he was. After all I'm sure Emma had much to say afterwards. Why Evan kissed me back also puzzled me, adding to the already overbearing weight hanging on my shoulders.

Battling on my thoughts I decided on texting him, it couldn't be any worse than what occurred between us so I didn't fear too much about his response.

Hey Evan it's Willa, I got your number off Sarah a few days ago. I hope you're okay? I'm sorry about last night.

Impatiently I waited for a response, my belly still hurting from the alcohol induced nausea. Maybe it was out of line texting him, I mean what were my intentions with Evan?

Hey Willa. It's okay. You don't need to apologise, I kissed you back.

The response sent a shockwave to my heart but I also felt disappointed by the blunt response, it's like he tried nipping the conversation in the bud as quickly as he could.

I mean, I kissed you when you have a girlfriend. I do need to apologise

Was Emma correct ? Was I really looking for male validation, it would make sense with everything that has happened with Alex and then how I basically used Noah. I truly was a terrible person.

Can you meet me in like half hour? We need to talk. Meet me at the coffee shop down the road. It's called Poppys coffees.

I frowned, why did he want to meet me. I knew I didn't want to meet him, I felt and looked like complete ass but I didn't want to let him down so agreed, agreed to meeting him to talk about how I made him cheat on his girlfriend. Fun.

**

Evan POV

I sat at one of the coffee shop tables, my drink being placed down which I thanked. Unsure as to why I arranged this whole meet-up in the first place.

"Evan, what do you want?" Willa mumbled as she sat down. I noticed that she had puffed, red cheeks which meant she had been crying. I hated when she cried.

"I just wanted to talk, talk about what we are"

Willa turned away with her bottom lip being sucked inwards "Evan, there is no 'us'"

I felt hurt by her words, there has always been an 'us' and I won't lose her again this time.

Grabbing her hands across the table I squeezed them with sullen eyes. "You've been crying"

"Can I ask why?" I continued with a hitch in my throat.

Willa pulled away her hands, patting her tear stained cheeks. "I haven't, I haven't been crying. Just get down to what you wanted to say Evan"

"Willa, I've always loved you and I think that you have loved me too. Am I right ?"

My eyes dropped to my lap, I finally said it. Over the years I've been tormenting myself with this information; watching her with Noah felt like someone stabbed me in the chest, twisting it in the process. 

"This is where you say something"

Willa shook her head "Don't bullshit me, you have never loved me and you don't love me now either. You have a girlfriend"

"Well.. I don't have a girlfriend now after last night thanks to you"

"I'm sorry to hear that. I knew I was always meant to ruin people's lives" she scoffed with distaste "maybe it's my life's plan. Making everyone else miserable"

"No! Willa you're not like that at all. You made my life, you never ruined it"

Smiling weakly I went around the table and sat next to her, my thumb now rubbing her cheek. "You completed my life. I was just a goddamn fool not to admit it to myself.."

"I've..I've always loved you too Evan Peters" Willa admitted with flushed cheeks. The way she blushed made my heart flutter; how could she be so cute and beautiful all at the same time.

Lost for words I decided on the only thing I could do and that was plant my lips against her plushed lips that tasted like strawberry chapstick. Her mouth turned into a smile during which made me adore her more, enjoying and filling up on every second that passed that I was kissing her.

Willa pulled away with doe like eyes "I think that's the most real kiss we have ever had" her voice just above a whisper in-between haggled breaths.

"I agree.. and I loved every second of it. Fuck I am so in love with you, Willa let's not waste anymore time..."

Pressing my forehead against hers I swallowed "be my girlfriend"

"I want you and only you"