I love you. (Boreo)

7

I just want to clarify something. I am putting some of my own experiences of self harm into Theo for the second and third paragraph. So please don't judge me for making him like this.

Theo POV:

I feel like such a fucking nuisance to Boris. Why am I like this. All I fucking do is bother people. I hate myself. "Boris I'm just going to have a shower." I call out to him. "Ok. I'll pick a movie." He replies. "I swear to god if you pick a stupid cheap porno again I'll jump out of the window." "Like my mum?" I stand frozen not knowing what to say. Boris starts laughing hysterically so I just go to the bathroom.

Ok so I lied to Boris. I'm not having a shower. But I turn on the shower so he can't hear me. I grab the pocket knife out of my pocket and just start cutting. I'm not important. Nobody likes me. And most importantly. I'm scared about being out. The one thing that I should do for Boris and I can't even do that. Honestly what the fuck is wrong with me. I go to corner of the bathroom and curl up in a ball with head tucked in between my stomach and legs. And I just start crying. For everything and for nothing.

"Potter are you done? You're taking foreverrrr!" Boris says while knocking on the door. "I've only been in here for 10 minutes! If that's long to you than you need to care more about your hygiene." I say back to him. "Whatever just hurry up." He says back. I hop in the shower for a minute just so wash of the blood and give myself the appearance of looking wet so it actually does look like I've actually been in the shower. Before I walk out I obviously put on the fresh pair of pyjamas that I brought in with me and I sprayed on some deodorant so it smells like I was using shower products.

"What movie did you choose?" I ask Boris. "Top Gun." He replies. "Good choice." We start to watch the movie. Sitting next to each other. My leg is on top of Boris' and his hand is on my thigh. About half an hour into the movie Boris starts moving his hand into the inner part of my thigh. He starts to kiss my neck and he then gets on top of me. And starts to take off his shirt. Then mine. Shit. I wanted to tell him to stop. But with in the heat of the moment I couldn't find the words.

There I am. Sitting there like a fool. Shirtless. My arms bandaged up. And I'm holding back tears. "Please don't hate me!" I blurt out. Boris gets off me. "Why would I hate you? Nothing you do could make me hate you. I just want to know why." He replies. I just start ranting "I just feel like such a burden to you. I'm always crying. We can't even be out as a couple because of me. And I hate myself for not being good enough for you." "Potter... you will always be good enough! No matter what!" "Really...?" "Really." We turn off the movie and start to go to sleep. I wrap my arm and leg around him and he wraps his arm around me. "YA lyublyu vas" he says. "What does that mean?" I ask. "You'll never know" he says back.