dead girls don't love [dgdl]

chapter 08 \n

"ASHA?!" IVANYA WHISPERED her name, almost painfully. Ashna had no idea what to say when this afternoon her phone rang and Ivanya was the one who called. It had been almost a year since they talked over the phone, every time they met, there were just plain texts. 

Time and location. 

Books, notes, PDFs and tests were what kept Ashna busy every afternoon. She loved studying, for things were definite, known and understandable to her. She doesn't know what she would do if not for studies and books. 

She loved to study. 

This evening when the sun shone so bright it could cause burns, showered such lights that can make one go blind, her phone rang with the name of her most beloved but lost sister. 

Ivanya. 

'What could have happened?'

Ashna almost felt numb. Ivanya never called. They had talked over the phone and met for one and half years after Ivanya decided to just not call. No contacts, nothing. Only minimal calls here and there. Since things became so complex and Ashna started hating her sister. 

Life had turned bitter just like that. Ashna felt nauseated and broken at the condition Ivanya so desperately took herself into. 

She was disgusted with her father when he asked Ivanya to return to hell even when she was half dead already. She detested her mother for letting Ivanya choose a life like that and then letting her go. Ashna hated Ivanya.

Ivanya used to call her mother. She did, for the first few months, until almost a year after her marriage. Most of them were unanswered. Those which were picked lasted only a few minutes. 

A daughter who bickered hours about things to her mother now only was allowed a few minutes to talk. And those minutes, Ivanya savoured. 

Each day, every minute, she only asked for pardon. She only wished to gain the love and trust of her parents she had lost. How helpless it is for a child to lose their parents in want of love? Ivanya was doomed. Ivanya was almost abandoned. And then there not even was an almost.

The calls stopped. 

For a year, her family barely had an idea how Ivanya was. They knew she lived in the quarter thirteen, bypass road with her husband. But they almost forgot that she was their daughter. 

Ramya, even if hideously, found of Ivanya's conditions from the once every two to three-month meetings Ashna had with Ivanya, all away from home. All when Shekhar was not there. 

She could have tried to show no mercy, and no love but Ashna had not missed the tears she cried remembering her daughter, and her poor condition so many nights, all alone in her room. Ashna hated herself for not being able to cajole her mother. She just walked away like she did not see the tears, like she did not hear the sobs. It was as if the wind cried.

Full rings and the call died. 

Ashna got back to writing her notes for the political science chapter, western political thinkers. Her eyes darted to her phone on her side which she pulled away to her laptop screen. She swallowed. Her heart ached but she tried to focus. 

Fifteen minutes later, her phone buzzed again. Rang and Ashna's eyes itched to cry tears that were dried up long ago. She was now at a place where she could not just cry. Godforsaken, this hurt more than tears did.

She swallowed, kept her pen down on her notebook and closed it before sitting straight on her bed. Her room looked cleaner compared to her bed which had books, laptop, and stationery splattered around. At the last ring, she picked up the call.