dead girls don't love [dgdl]

chapter 11 \g

IVAN'S HAND SHOOK AS HE HELD Ashna's hands, the warmth of his calloused rugged hands against her cold soft ones. His eyes looked down and Ashna could feel the shiver of nervousness in him.

Ivan felt exhilarating, nervous, anxious and happy all at once. But mostly, he could not believe it. She was sitting in front of him, right there in his house, on his bed.

He was sitting in front of him, legs crossed with her hands in his, and it felt surreal, and the most beautiful feeling to him. He had asked her to sit closer and she did. Because the way he had said it, one can not deny. Always so soft, and such precious words he whispers.

He could not believe his eyes. As much as he wanted to look up at her, take her in, his heart thudded so much inside him to bear another hit.

God, he loved her.

Ashna was pure beauty, not in the popular or conventional ways. She neither had long dark hair nor very sharp facial features. But she had pretty eyes, which Ivan has told her numerous times.

They were black like thundering cloudy nights. Pure, etched black. Against a pale white tone of the skin, she had curled gold-brown locks. Circular face, and flowery pink lips. The softest of pinks.

The darkest of pinks were his lips. And it suited his dampened skin tone, his sharp jawline and high cheekbones, his dark mess of medium long hairs. It contrasted his lean physique.

"Hey," Ashna called softly, squeezing his hands in hers, observing the tremble in them. She could not believe the man in front of her.

Every man she had known was either violent or aggressive, if not in actions then in behaviour and words. Even when they were kind and sweet, warm and lovely, she knew they had a beast sleeping inside them. She had known those beasts come to life in dens, closed spaces and solitary.

Even if it was true about one man that Ashna knew and accepted that not everyone's the same. The fear and horrors of betrayal had started to make her awry.

One reason why she was afraid to come here. Even when her heart believed in Ivan and her mind knew he could not ever be like that. She wanted no risks, no hurts to feel by having her trust broken. But she trusted Ivan, coming here was proof enough.

Even if she told herself that she did not. That she was just being brave. She knew she had started to trust him with all of herself.

This was also one thing that Ivan had ever asked of her. To trust him. Whatever they were, he had said, was unworthy as long as she did not trust him. For he always believed, one can not truly be with someone until they trust the other person.

No matter how horrifying it feels about one's trust being broken, it is only when one believes in the other person that one can be their real self.

Ivan hummed, not able to speak a word as his heart raced inside his chest. "Your hands are shaking," Ashna spoke but she told this to her more than him.

He shook his head in denial, without looking up, and hummed a 'no.' "It is, " Ashna said and it came out in a whisper. Pulling her hands out of his grip, she made him look up at her. His brown eyes locked with Ashna's, making him swallow a gulp down his throat, making Adam's apple bob at its centre.

She grazed a few strands of his hair with her fingers for just a second. "I was afraid," she confessed, focusing her eyes back to his face from his hair.

"Why?" He asked. Softly.

Feeling sad that he made her afraid. It was almost a mystery to him. He was so nervous, how could he make her afraid? "I would never hurt you," he promised with his eyes digging in hers. "Hell," he said, "I could never hurt you."