dead girls don't love [dgdl]

chapter 34 \r

9 months later

~

STORMY WINDS RUSHED TO HUG PEACE, lightning broke the sky causing orange and pale lights to emerge from behind the clouds clashing, its sound reaching a second later. 

Winds blew fast, sand blurring vision and the river ran wild. The atmosphere picked up a storm, clouds battled to rain and Ivanya felt peace after so long. 

How long it has been even she can not recollect only that one day she had gone asking her most beloved parents to let her marry a man she was in love with. 

She doesn't know why life hated her so much that she was dropped out of the family at once, and the only man she loved had her at her knees begging for mercy. Only that she never begged it. Rather, she turned to stone. 

Ivanya breathes a deep sigh. 

Of relief, letting go of everything. 

Her hands hug her as she stands under a shed of a tree at the side when the heavier clouds start pouring blatantly. 

There was barely anyone around except those few people who had business there or belonged to the ghat area. The evening was stormy, the winds, so wild and strong, felt like heaven on her skin. 

After six months of constant trauma, depression and locking herself in a room, Ivanya finally decided to go for therapy, which Ashna was asking her for such a long time. And after twelve sessions of it planned every Saturday, she feels much better and relieved. 

All she needed was to move on, but moving on is not that easy after all. It requires every ounce of courage to do so. And then, the way things were messed up in her life, moving on felt much more complicated. Until her therapist told her that she did not need to forget to move on. 

That remembering things and accepting that they have happened to her, that life was cruel and bad, that we made mistakes, and we suffered pain, is all absolutely okay. 

What had all happened to Ivanya in the past few years of her life was a complex cruel mess. She fell in love and felt the most beautiful feeling in the world. 

For this sweet feeling, she fought against the world but what she received was cruelty and pain. And all she lost was everything. Every damn thing.  

Ivanya leans at the trunk of the tree, droplets falling from its shade too, as the darkened clouds poured its heart out strongly in the open space. It always rained heavily on the coast of the rivers. 

She saw the rivers being filled by the water of the rain, tides rising to heights. Everything around her was cold, and her saree fluttered around her. A lot of things changed about her in the past few weeks, one of them was the way she wore her saree. 

In the starting days of talks with her therapist, Mrs. Meera, she spoke too little, not even shared many things but then Meera would ask such questions that the story would come out of her mouth on her own. 

The day she had finally confessed to having voluntarily left Shekhar's hand on the parapet that day was when Meera realized this was what ate her from inside all this while. And she had said only one thing, "You did not leave his hand, you tried." 

"Yes, but I was weak, I didn't try enough," Ivanya, for the first day then, had started crying. As her eyes reddened, spilling tears, the only thing she kept saying was words such as, "I killed him," "It's all my fault," "I didn't try enough," "I-I could not give him a child even,--" 

She kept mumbling words and crying. And Meera let her, for this was what was required the most in her case. She needed to grieve. 

And then she needed to accept that it was not her fault. If life is cruel to you, it does not mean you deserve it.