cinema [h.s.]

chapter nine.

July 19, 2016.

"I can't do this anymore Rory." Ashton says lowly, and my heart stops. I stare at him, eyes red and full of tears.

"What do you mean?" I whisper. My lip quivering as I try and hold back a sob.

Ashton has been distant the last couple of months. He's rarely home. And when he is, he doesn't touch me. He doesn't talk to me. He doesn't even look at me.

The only time he wants anything to do with me is when he's horny and wants to have sex.

I don't get greeted with kisses and flowers. I don't get protected from other guys at bars when we go out. It's like I'm invisible to him.

He walked into the house today and didn't greet me as I greeted him from the kitchen. Instead, he walked up to me, shoulders sharp and said that we needed to talk.

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you."  Ashton says softly, not even daring to look at me in the eyes.

My heart breaks and I let out a loud guttural sob. I should've seen this coming.

"Oh my god." I cry out in realization. "I love you."

"I'm sorry." Ashton whispers, tears forming in his eyes. I can't bare to look at him.

"Was I not good enough for you? I-Is there someone else?" Ashton goes quiet, now looking down at his feet.

So there is another girl in the picture that I don't know about. How was I so blind in all of this?

"Who is she?" I ask, no emotion in my voice as I wipe my tears away. Ashton stiffens, but stays quiet.

Now I was just angry. Angry and hurt that he had led me on for God knows how long.

"Do I know her?" I ask frustratedly, and Ashton finally speaks up.

"No." He snaps. "You don't."

"How long." I sniffle and Ashton shakes his head.

"Tell me how long God damnit!" I cry.

"Five months." Ashton chokes out and my breath catches in my throat.

Suddenly I can't breathe. My whole body feels tingly, my throat feels like it's closing and my back is on fire.

"I'm sorry."

And then he's gone.

September 1, 2020.