cinema [h.s.]

chapter twenty one.

October 31, 2020.

For the past week Rory and I have done nothing but walk on egg shells around each other.

People on set have started to notice and so has Ivy. We're not affectionate like we used to be.

When I try and kiss her, she leans away. When I reach out to settle a hand on her waist, she jumps as if I'm going to hurt her. I can't tuck a piece of hair behind her ear without her visibly becoming uncomfortable.

It hurts.

I feel like I'm being pushed away, like she's distancing herself from me and I don't know how to to fix it.

She keeps promising me that it doesn't have to do with me, that I did nothing wrong, but it doesn't feel that way.

Ivy has even started noticing Rory's change in behavior. I got her out of the house for a few hours the other day so Rory could be alone and had a conversation with her I never thought i'd have.

"Bestest 'arry?" Ivy says softly from the backseat. I look at her in the rear view mirror, letting her know that I've heard her. "Why is mommy so sad?"

Shit.

"I don't know baby." I say truthfully. Ivy frowns, her bottom lip quivering slightly.

"I don't like when mommy is sad."

"Neither do I bug."

Ivy and I drove home in complete silence.  Neither of us had anything new we could talk about because since Rory has distanced herself, Ivy is practically attached to my hip and tells me everything.

If Ivy needed help with something, she came to me instead of Rory, claiming that she "wanted to leave mama alone" so she could work on being happy.

It broke my heart.

Ivy is so young and she doesn't understand a lot of the things adults go through.

In her eyes, Rory is sad.

But in mine, she's slowly slipping away from me.

"Harry." I turn in bed and rub the sleep out of my eyes at the sound of Rory whispering my name.

"What?" I mumble, "What's wrong?"

"I-I'm ready to talk." She gulps and I furrow my brow.

"Rory it's-" I turn and look at the clock on the beside table. "two am."

"If I don't tell you now I won't be ready to talk about it later." Rory sighs, running a hand through her hair.

I nod, sitting up in bed and flipping on the lamp beside me. "Okay." I whisper.

Rory crosses her legs and begins picking at the threaded blanket on the bed, her hands slightly shaking as she takes a deep breath.

"Ivy almost called you daddy." She whispers.