Flirting With The Good Girl

Paper Cut

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~Flirting With The Good Girl~

Chapter36: Paper Cut

*Jacob Parkers*

You forget how much someone means to you until they're no longer there.

Pain would never be a strong enough word to describe what I was feeling. It would never be a strong enough word to even begin with.

I felt numb and lost when Ethan Daniels walked out of my life. My chest constantly ached and I felt empty all the time. Happiness was no longer in my book. His death took a toll on us all and it seemed as if time had stopped on this agonizing day. It felt like a lifetime when really it had only been a few hours.

My dear friend had been taken away from me -from all of us- and we never even got to say goodbye. But then again, how could we.

Jessica ran a hand down my face soothingly, her eyes red from crying. She gave me the smallest of a smile when I looked in her direction.

I leaned into her touch, wanting to feel warmth and love. I needed it more than ever. I needed to be held and I needed to be told everything was going to be okay, even if it wasn't true.

But what I really needed was for someone to tell me I would wake up from this nightmare.

Ever since they told me the news, I've bee silently denying visitations from anyone. I couldn't bare to look at anyone right now. We were all feeling the same thing and I couldn't stand to see how broken my friends and family were.

The IV was painfully tugging at my arm and I went to pull at it when Jessica stopped me. "You're too weak, Jacob." She said softly. "Just leave it."

I looked at her with my face clearly masked with sadness. "I shouldn't even be here." My voice was raspy and it sounded as if I hadn't talked in years.

She frowned and ran a hand through my hair. "What do you mean?"

I took her hand in my hand and held it to my lips. "I should have died with him."

I saw a shock of horror cross her face before tears started filling her eyes. "Don't you say that, Jacob!" She nearly shouted. "Don't you even think that!"

How could I not? If Ethan had to die, why did I live? I should have died right beside my friend.

I wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek and pulled her lips to mine. She kissed me roughly like it would be the last time, and that made me realize how she was thrown into this situation again.

First with Carter and now me? She's been through hell and back yet she decides to stay.

She pulled away and rested her head against mine. "They said you broke three ribs and nearly died of blood loss." Her voice was shaky. "Damn, you, Jake. Do you realize everything I've had to go through to make sure you made it? I requested for blood transfusions once I saw how bad you looked! I didn't think you were going to make it! So don't  you ever again say that you should have died out there or so help me -"

I stopped her by pressing my finger to her lips. "I won't."

She relaxed and leaned her head on my shoulder. The burning question that I so badly wanted to ask her pained me but I had to know. "How are you doing?"

She shrugged. She had multiple expressions crossing over he features. She was feeling everything. "Fine. I haven't even changed out of my prom dress."